Wednesday, December 31, 2008

‘After The Affair’ Books - Do They Help?

There is an awful lot of information out there on affairs and marriage and with any industry where there is competition it seems everyone is claiming a new method or a secret formula that will transform your life for the better. After the affair books and e-books are no exception to this which can put people off buying them but is this cynical view justified?

Hype & Marketing Vs Results

Sometimes it can a bit too easy to dismiss a helpful product because of overblown claims making you think it is too good to be true and therefore ignore it in the general background noise of life which is a shame because many of these books and e-books CAN be very helpful and are often written by experts who have many years experience. What they don’t do well sometimes is marketing themselves to the best effect because the only way to attract people’s attention is to be as loud and claim as many benefits to you as possible which can come off as crass. This is hard to avoid as the best way to attract attention is to target the exact situation you as a consumer might be in and advertise to your specific needs which can be quite varied even if you want the same result.

Actual benefits

Many ‘after the affair’ types of e-books can be very helpful to people facing life after a marital affair trying to survive adultery in a relationship. This is because they can bring clarity and structure to your efforts to rebuild your relationships and your life when anger, hurt and humiliation can send you on an emotional roller coaster that sometimes throws logic and planning out the window.

Having a guide with examples and ways to manage the rage and approach communications and issues with your cheating spouse without making the exercise useless can help you rebuild the trust that has been lost which is one of the most important binding forces in a marriage.

So if you do need some help to bring back trust, love and affection into a failing relationship because of your partner’s infidelity click below for reviews of ‘after the affair’ e-books to help you find the right guide that can help you.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

Monday, December 22, 2008

How to Catch Him Cheating - Evidence & Reasons

By James Fargo


Infidelity is a terrible thing that destroys the trust in a relationship which is one of the the, if not THE most important aspect for success and longevity. When we are confronted by these suspicions and signs of cheating our first thought may be to confront your cheating boyfriend or cheating husband, this however can be a disaster without evidence so you need to know how to catch him cheating and importantly know the differences between evidence and knowing their reasons for cheating.

While no one condones unfaithfulness, many people who set out on the path to determine is he cheating or not focus just on the who and where which is enough for most women to then take whatever action they want but this only tells a part of the story and can backfire on your just as badly as not having any evidence. This is because you can make mistakes for one, and if you do not understand the entire picture of their behavior they may be able to manipulate the conversation to their advantage which can become very messy.

So with this in mind when you are trying to work out how to catch him cheating do not neglect all elements of evidence but also the psychological motives and reasons of why they have done this as well for a more complete understanding that will help you in whatever path you choose to take.

How to catch him cheating though requires you to think much like a private investigator looking for clues in all the places people might neglect to hide their infidelity or simply forget too. In this digital age one of the best places to check is cell phones and computers which have data in many places that could yield information such as:

  • SMS messages
  • Phone numbers
  • Bookmarks
  • Internet histories
  • Internet cache
  • Email
  • Social Networking sites
  • dating sites

If you want to know more on how to catch a cheating lover from experts who know the technology, pitfalls and successful methods click below to find downloadable guides that can help you uncover their infidelity or prove their innocence once and for all.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

Trust After an Affair - Can it Be Regained?

Trust is the strongest bond a relationship can have and without it most marriages cannot survive and fall apart like a house of cards. Trust after an affair therefore is something that is missing and must be regained if there is any hope for your relationship to continue without divorce or further problems and infidelity.

With this in mind how can trust be regained in a relationship tainted by a marital affair?

The answer is not a simple, or an easy one but many people who have followed the right path have managed to create a marriage that is stronger and better than it was before because regaining the trust means rebuilding your relationship based on the understanding of the affair and the problems in your marriage before it.

This means open and honest communication between you and your cheating spouse which is what many people feel they cannot do because of a few issues:

  • Fear - Fear of knowing the problems, fear it may be your own fault somehow, fear of knowing details that will make you upset.
  • Anger - You cannot have a conversation with your partner about the subject because you get angry and cannot talk properly due to outbursts or such a negative response to every answer that it does not seem productive.
  • Do not WANT to listen - Many people do not want to listen to their partner about the affair and the reasons behind it because they do not want to give their partner any chance to make excuses and would rather BE angry and use the affair as some sort of weapon to hold against them. This is a poisonous thing that leads to MORE affairs and often divorce and misery.

If you can find a way through these issues and truly understand everything about the affair in an attempt to revive your relationship and deal with the problems that led to your partner straying (which is their fault NOT yours) then you can be more trusting of them because the reasons that breed the mentality for infidelity will be gone and you AND your partner will have the understanding needed to see why you want to be with each other exclusively because your marriage becomes not just a binding contract to faithfulness but something you both WANT to be in rather than a duty to be upheld!

So if you want more information on surviving adultery in your marriage click below to find guides that can give you a roadmap to recovery that will help you get past the anger and hurt and rebuild trust and love once again.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/dealing-with-an-affair-e-book-reviews/

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Catch Your Husband Cheating Without Hiring a Private Investigator

Affairs destroy the one binding force that ties all relationships together Trust. When you know your husband has been cheating on you that bond of trust disintegrates but at least the issue is out in the open if you have proof and they have admitted it. If you suspect your husband is unfaithful however and have yet to catch your husband cheating then you suffer a twofold dilemma, the trust is gone and you are left with the anxiety of not knowing for sure and the options seem to be to stay quiet and hope or to confront them without any proof or hire a private investigator … or is there another way?

The option more and more women facing this problem choose is to take action! Living in distrust and anxiety thinking “is my husband cheating” is no way to live and hiring someone can be extremely expensive and can be difficult to do without your husband finding out. Instead being able to conduct your own investigation is something anyone can do and can do better than an investigator because you are their wife!

The first thing to know is that sometimes you may not be able to find a ’smoking gun’ to prove you have a cheating spouse such as dirty messages, underpants, pictures of them kissing and so forth … instead most evidence is gathered over time in bits and pieces. Further to this, the digital nature of our lifestyle has influences detective work as well as how men cheat with online dating sites, social websites like facebook, instant messenger services and of course email.

So the first step you should take is to get digital. Check their cell phone for evidence, SMS messages phone numbers and names that you do not recognize and so forth, also check their computer but do not just look in the obvious places such as emails, search website histories or if you are more tech savvy check their cookies to see what sites they might visit even if they clear out their history and cache. If this is so totally clean it is obvious they are deleting all evidence you may need to go one step further on the digital front by using spy software that remains invisible to your cheating husband and tracks what they do for you to inspect later.

So if this sounds like something you can do and you want to know more on how to catch your husband cheating click below to find out how to end the uncertainty and prove their guilt or innocence.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Marriage After Affairs - 3 Tips to Rebuild Your Relationship

Marriage after affairs is a changed thing that will never be the same again. This can be a scary statement for many people but it can also be a statement than can be used to heal a relationship and make it better and stronger!

“God never closes a door without opening another” Whether you are a believer or not this saying is essential to believe as it basically says it is up to you to treat change as a good thing or a bad thing. Some tips to go from an affair torn marriage to a strong trusting relationship are as follows:

1. Talk

As hard as it is to talk about the affair this is vitally important to creating a stronger relationship and ending the hurt. The benefits of talking about the affair come from gaining an understanding of the problems in your relationship that caused your spouse to seek for something they felt they had lost or did not have with you. This does not mean you caused this though … never think that! It does however allow you to pinpoint the reasons they felt they needed to do this which allows you to move forward by closing that old relationship and opening the door to a newer and better one.

2. Stay calm

The anger and hurt that stems from a marital affair can ruin your chance of happiness if you let explosive outbursts designed to hurt control you or maybe a long lasting bitterness will taint every interaction with your cheating spouse. It is important to get over this anger in time, it is important to deal with the anger and not suppress it but when dealing with your partner you must control it or it will bring whatever you are working towards undone.

3. Take Your Time

You cannot rush this healing process no matter how much you may want to find a way to move on. People who look for a quick fix often either divorce thinking that it is easier alone or they repress their feelings which does not fix the problems and it also does not heal anything, the anger continues to bubble below the surface along with the distrust.

For more marriage advice on how to deal with life after an affair click below to discover roadmaps to recover from infidelity written by experts in marriage counseling that can help you understand and affair and build a stronger and better marriage from it.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

Friday, December 19, 2008

Healing After Affairs - Can You Trust Again?

Healing after affairs can seem like the most difficult thing in the world when the hurt and distrust threaten to tear apart what little bonds are left in your relationship. One of the biggest problems facing this healing process is regaining trust in your partner and knowing they will not be unfaithful again with a marital affair and to give your trust back to this person who violated it once (or more) can be a difficult thing to do; so how do people mend this rift?

The first thing to know in surviving an affair is that you should never give your trust back unless you understand why they had the affair and how to use this information to create change that will ensure a trusting and lasting marriage. Sounds so simple in one sentence doesn’t it, but we all know the reality is not that easy so let’s break this down a little bit.

Understanding
The reasons most marital affairs happen is that one partner feels there is something missing in their relationship and thinks they have found it with another man or woman. What this is may be variable and often leads to many different types of affairs which also make a difference to how you should approach them. If you want to rebuild the trust and heal the rift between yourself and your partner you must understand the affair keenly and while this may seem like the last thing you want to talk with your partner about it must be done or the same fertile ground for adultery will still be there. Try to talk to them in short periods in a calm manner and if it gets too hard or explosive stop and come back to it later but it must be done to gain the understanding you need to rebuild trust after an affair.

Change
Once you understand the affair you must then find the things led them to commit this deed. This means you must realize the key problems in your relationship before the affair which may involve sharing some blame for this breakdown of a relationship … this does NOT mean you should blame yourself for the affair though! It simply means that sometimes (not always) affairs come from relationship problems both parties must take ownership of. Once these are found and can be identified as the reason your partner was unfaithful you can look to fixing those relationship issues so that those things they thought were missing are back in their life and they do not need to seek elsewhere to find something they feel will complete them.

So if you are surviving adultery and wish to heal your relationship and your own emotions click below to find roadmaps to recovery that can help you overcome the anger and hurt, rebuild trust and come out the other side of an affair better than life was before it.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

Trust After Affairs - Can It Be Rebuilt?

The key binding force in a marriage or any relationship for that matter is trust. Trust they will do the right thing by you, trust they will be there for you and trust they will be faithful. Trust after affairs though becomes a fragile thing and if it unravels completely the relationship usually comes crashing down. With this in mind rebuilding trust in a relationship is of utmost importance … but how can you trust again when the ghost of the affair is always there making you question their intentions?

There are 3 basic steps to this process but getting through each one can vary in application enormously depending the type of affair and many other factors. When it comes to surviving adultery though you should look to this outline to rebuild the trust.

  • Understanding - Nothing in life can be achieved without any lasting success without understanding and relationships are the same. When dealing with a marital affair you must understand the reasons this happened because it is often not what you think! Many people believe it is all about sex but the opposite is usually true; the reasons for affairs do vary but they usually stem from a relationship breakdown of some kind and your partner strays to find something they feel is missing from their marriage. This does not mean it is your fault by any means … they made the decision to be unfaithful but it does mean you must look at your relationship before the affair and be honest in the mistakes BOTH of you made because trying to dump all blame on the cheater is a good way to never regain the trust and never heal the rift in your relationship.
  • Reconciliation - To be reconciled is to acknowledge the wrongs of the past and to be able to live in harmony despite it. This is the hardest part for most people dealing with infidelity as even if you understand the reasons behind their affair forgiving them is hard to do. The anger and hurt can seem like too much of a burden to bear but if you have spoken about the affair enough and in a calm fashion to gain the understanding of the previous step you are more able to empathies with your partner without condoning their actions which leads to an ability to reconcile because you are not being asked to forgive for no reason.
  • Change - Affair happen largely because of problems the unfaithful one had with your relationship which varies considerably based on the type of affair they had. If you have understood this and been able to reconcile this and not be bitter all the time about it then you can move on to the change which is key to rebuilding trust. If you understand the affair, no longer judge and get angry about it all the time then the things that led to the affair can be changed. Sometimes it may just be their problem that needs fixing and sometimes it may be things both of you need to change but in the end what it does is eliminate the problems and insecurities that lead to them seeking elsewhere for the things they thought they were missing.

So if you want to know in detail how to achieve these steps by knowing the types of affairs, how to manage your hurt and ultimately how to gain trust after affairs click below to find more information written by experts in this field.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/