Monday, May 10, 2010

What You Need to Know to Survive and Affair

recovering from an affair is the most traumatic ordeal in the world as the hurt, pain and anger appear to take up residence in your heart and declines to move no matter what you attempt. This does not need to be the case though as we all have the choice to be happy and we all have the choice to change our outlook and bring other people along with this change of heart which can fix even the rockiest relationship.

The choice is an extremely important aspect of the healing process. It isn't as simple as merely waking up one and choosing to leave it all behind you as some people might attempt to do and end up lying to themselves, but instead it is the choice to stop grieving over the affair and to stop grieving over the lost marriage that once was and instead turn your sights to the future.

This means that the hurt and anger must be fixed so that you can get rid of the negativity from your mind in order to make that choice with a clear purpose and without falling again to anger and depression. How to do part for many people honest discussions about the extramarital affair and all that it entails.

The anxiety and fear about doing this can make many people feel physically ill as we shy away from finding out about details of your spouse in the embrace of another lover but that is not the point of it. The reason to discuss their affair is to discover the real reasons why they cheated on you beyond simple lust because most extramarital affairs happen because one partner is not getting something they want out of your marriage and end up looking for an emotional connection elsewhere.

This DOESN'T mean it was your fault before you think of it as such! Your partner made the decision to cheat. THEY chose to abandon their vows not you.

What it does mean is that if you know where your partnership may have left your lover unfulfilled you can address that hurdle taking consideration that it was serious enough to drive them to an affair so you can work to overcome those problems. It also means you can air your own feelings of rage and hurt in a civilized fashion with both of you in a "discussion" not an "argument". Only through this cathartic and informative discussion will you recover from an affair enough to eliminate the negativity to be able to make that choice … the choice to move in and create something new.

If you want more information on how to recover from an affair, click below to discover how you can turn your affair haunted marriage into a new, stronger and better one.

surviving an affair