Can You Salvage Your Marriage After Infidelity Happens?

Marriage after infidelity can be a nightmare of suspicion, emotional hurt, arguments and a slow descent towards separation and divorce.But if you are desperate to save your marriage, there are definitely ways you can both work together to make a new and improved relationship a reality. Some ideas for how to do this are listed below...

A huge part of recovering from your partners involvement in an affair is to look ahead and work out how to forgive your partner for their betrayal.This is not easy though and can take a long time to do for some people and a shorter time for others but it is possible if you remember these few tips:

Build a new marriage

It is very easy for a married couple to attempt to move past an affair by simply attempting to turn their marriage back to how it was before the incident took place... even when there were obviously problems that needed to be dealt with. Unfortunately in most situations this is not really possible. The trust that has been shattered means the past cannot be reclaimed and your relationship cannot be mended in such a simple manner.

The affair may be forgiven but it will never be forgotten, and so a new version of your relationship will need to be developed that allows you to move aheadand continue building your life together.

Banish anger and resentment

No one can begrudge you feeling as betrayed as you do, but it is important to avoid allowing yourself to become a slave to these feelings.By letting these emotions get the better of you, you risk driving an even larger wedge between you and your partner which may prove impossible to overcome

If you feel yourself caving in to the rage, step back, take a pause and resume when you are ready. A successful recovery from infidelity in marriage is dependent on your ability to keep communication open when your anger tells you to shut them down.

Do you want to know more about surviving an affair and fixing the trust and love in your marriage? If so click below to hear my story and how it can help you.

saving marriage after infidelity

Marriage After Infidelity - How to Cope with an Affair in Marriage

marriage after infidelity is not easy and a lot of married couples cannot find a way to rebuild their marriage from the realities of infidelity because of the lack of trust, the emotional storm and the fact that most couples have never planned on infidelity and simply do not know how to handle it.

No one can be blamed for this however as no one would ever plan to be in such a situation. Infidelity does happen in many marriages however and as such,You may now need to know how to overcome infidelity in marriage when it does happen

Here are three things that can be helpful if your spouse has been having an affair but you still want to salvage your marriage.

Deal with Anger, Resentment & Jealousy

Anger, resentment and being jealous are all normal feelings after you find out your partner has cheated on you. However these things are ultimately not helpful to being able to move on and forgive or at least not be crushed by an affair. As such you need to find ways to stop these feelings from interfering with your day to day life and your conversations. This if course easier said that done but it has to happen or everything you do will be poisoned by these negative thoughts.

One line of thought you should follow is "I can always control how I ACT even if I cannot control how I FEEL!". Working through these feelings will take time but you are always in control of what you say and what you do even if you feel like you are going to burst if you do not get angry. If your emotions threaten to overwhelm you when communicating with your spouse simply tell them that you are too angry to talk but you will discuss it later when you calm down then go fro a walk.. You can go through that door when both of you are in the right headspace.

End Retaliation

This ideais related to controlling what you say and do but is more focused as it deals with another unhelpful thought: REVENGE.

some use verbal attacks in the form of verbal abuse, nasty comments and quips or talking about them behind their back. It might be physical attacks which is a very dangerous path but it can also mean physically attacking something they love or cherish too. It also might be passive aggressive retaliation or even worse sexual retaliation by cheating on your spouse to get them back.

Make sure these things do not happen as the bond of trust that has been pushed to absolute breaking point only need you to make one careless mistake to snap them completely. This could end your chance at rebuilding your marriage. In the end you must decide ... can I control myself and work to a solution ... it is your choice.

Leave the Past Behind

Another problem that can hinder your ability to communicate and find solutions and forgiveness in a marriage after an affair is thinking that you can reclaim the past and make things just like they were. Your marriage can never be the same again unless you ignore the whole affair and then you will be living a lie which has caused more marriages to fail than it has to keep them together.

You must instead be free from the past. The old marriage is gone, your old relationship was not what you really thought it was since they were unfaithful. Only when you realize your old life is history can you focus on your new life, your new relationship because basically, you must start from the ground up!

Click here for more information on surviving infidelity.

3 Surviving an Affair Tips

Surviving an affair can be long and arduous process for those trying to mend their shattered marriage and rebuild the trust that has been lost due to one partners cheating heart. affair surviving can be done however as many successful marriages have overcome the problems and in many cases have come through stronger and better than before; sound unlikely? Well read on for some tips on how to survive an affair.

1. Control Anger & Hurt

Before anything more can be done one of the biggest problems in surviving infidelity in a relationship is anger and hurt. These emotions serve a purpose and they are justified to someone in your position but those that give in to rage and depression over a marital affair can never move forward. For instance, you must learn when to walk away from an argument without destroying it, say you will be back after a walk because you are too angry to talk right now and continue the discussion later. Do not end the discussion completely and do not ruin it with a yelling match and end up saying hurtful things … just get the anger out of your system elsewhere then come back and try again.

2. Communicate

This can not be stressed enough! Some couples end up not communicating about the affair because they know it will lead to another argument and others purposely choose not to talk about it thinking that by burying the past it can be forgotten. Neither of these approaches work … what works and what is the hardest thing to do is to talk about the affair, find out the who, when and why because only by understanding the affair can we inject some truth back into a relationship and from there can mend the wounds and find out what needs to change …

3. Realize It Will Never Be The Same Again

This is a stumbling block for many spouses who just want things like they were before the affair and cling to that hope for so long that when it never arrives they end up even worse. The reason for this is it never CAN be the same way as it was, nothing will change that. There is however, one powerful choice you can make here that can end the misery in time; you can choose to create a new relationship out of the old one! This choice combined with what you have learned means you can leave behind the old relationship that m ay have indirectly lead to your partners cheating and create a new one together that can be affair-proof because both of you know exactly what you need to create a successful, happy marriage and both of you will want to be with each other exclusively because you give each other everything you both need!

So if you want to find out step by step guides on how to achieve these steps, overcome and survive the specter of the affair and create the new marriage that you want click below to find out more.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

Recovering From an Affair Does Not Have to be Difficult

Recovering from an affair can seem like the hardest thing in the world as the pain, anger and hurt seem to take up residence in your heart and refuses to move no matter what you try. This does not need to be the case however as we all have the choice to be happy and we all have the choice to change ourselves and bring others along with this change which can mend even the rockiest marriage.

The choice is a very important aspect of healing. It is not as easy as just waking up one day and choosing to put it all behind you as some people might try to do and end up lying to themselves but instead it is the choice to stop grieving over what has happened and to stop grieving over the loss of the marriage you once had and instead turn your sights to the future.

This means that the anger and hurt must be dealt with so that you can purge the negativity from yourself in order to make that choice with a clear purpose and without falling again to depression and anger. How to do this is the hard part for many people because it involves an honest and in depth discussion about the affair and all that it entails.

The anxiety and fear about doing this can make some people feel physically ill as we shy away from hearing about details of our loved ones in the embrace of another but that is not the point of it. The reason to discuss the affair is to uncover the real reasons why they did it beyond simple lust because most affairs happen because one partner is not getting something they want out of their marriage and end up looking for an emotional connection elsewhere.

This does NOT mean it was your fault before you think of it as such! THEY made the decision to cheat not you. THEY chose to abandon their vows not you.

What it does mean is that if you know where your marriage may have left your partner unfulfilled of wanting you can address that issue taking consideration that it was serious enough to drive them to an affair and work to fix those problems. It also means you can air your own feelings of anger and hurt in a civilized fashion with both of you in a discussion not an argument and only through this cathartic and informative discussion will you be recovering from an affair enough to purge the negativity to be able to make that choice … the choice to move in and create something new.

For more expert help on surviving an affair click below to get the help you need to create a happier life.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

Men, Divorce, Depression & Coping With It All

Whenever I see an article about divorce, or watch a news or current affair report about life of divorcees it always seems to focus on the woman’s plight and not any problems of men. Divorce & depression are partners for men after a marriage fails and recent reports have suggested that men take divorce a lot harder than women for a number of reasons.

These reasons are usually linked with women’s ability to develop social networks that allow them to get the support, advice and help they need while men often do not have these things and try to be stoic in the face of a massively changed life with emotional turmoil building inside them. Marriage problems and the divorce often lead to one prominent emotional issue which is depression.

While there are enormous numbers of books written on depression you can find some good practical advice you can use straight away include:

• Breaking down your problems into smaller pieces - Sometimes the divorce and problems after the event all pile up and can become unbearable making it depressing and overwhelming. Since there is no way back and no way out though you must start sorting your issues into smaller manageable chunks and just work at one at a time or the task may seem to be too much.
• Do not focus on the negatives - This is probably the hardest thing to do when you are depressed and it is impossible to stop thinking about negative things. However to lessen the problems you must find good things and focus on them even if they seem too small to make a difference against the negatives. The trick is though it is like breaking your problems into smaller chunks … after a while you have collected enough good positive feelings, thoughts and emotions that they can start to make an impact … never let go of the good things and actions you take!
• Have a goal - Men are very good at setting goals to achieve and we are biologically built to solve problems. Sometimes we do this in the most inappropriate way mind you but if we have the right tools we can build anything! With this in mind even if depression does strike you having something to do is important, it could be a life goal, an emotional goal or even a physical goal it does not matter. Achieving something makes men feel good at helps again depression and negative thinking.

For more advice by a man who has been through a messy divorce, depression and a whole host of other problems and has built a roadmap to recovery for men after divorce click below to find out more.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/divorce/

Fix Your Sexless Marriage - Book Review

The frustration, shame and hurt that comes from a marriage that is lacking in physical intimacy can do more than hurt your self-esteem; it can bring on depression, effects the lives of your children if you have any and according to recent studies and statistics it can be a major part in decisions about divorce too.

This can be quite a dire state of affairs for a married couple but if it was so easy to fix surely you would have done it by now right? The problem is it is NOT easy to fix for many reasons such as:

• Communication Difficulties
• Resentment
• Fear
• Self Blame
• … and more.

This is where you need help, this is where you need ammunition to fight this rut in your marriage and bring it back on track to be happier, healthier and full of wonderful, hot, passionate sexy SEX!

Enter “Fix Your Sexless Marriage” or “Get him/her in the mood” as it is also called written by Kate Dixon.

This e-book could be your key to unlocking the door to a more passionate marriage not because it will give you the information to directly turn your man or woman into lusty spouses but because it will change the way you live, think and feel about YOURSELF first and foremost which is the psychological secret to turning around a sexless marriage. Sounds too good to be true? Read on to see why it works …

At first we were skeptical of this e-book as you might well be too and acquired a copy of it which then made us realize there wee TWO guides, one specifically for men and one specifically for women. This piqued my interest and prompted me to delve in further to the guides.

Again I was not overly impressed to start with, the introduction and first section seemed like a little too much common sense and did not add much more than you would find anywhere else but this quickly changed the further I read.

While a lot of it was common sense Kate Dixon had the foresight to set the scene first and gently ease the reader into the meatier chunks of the guide which may well become overwhelming and perhaps even insulting to those not prepared to hear the solid gold advice she dispenses later in the book.

With a great mix of very practical measures you can take which seamlessly tie in with the underlying psychological problems that are the root cause of a sexless relationship this guides is not only great for rekindling the sex drive of your partner but it will give you an understanding of how your partner actually thinks from their perspective and how, by adjusting your own actions, beliefs and ideas for the betterment of your own physical and mental health … you will indirectly light a fire in their lovemaking furnace and get theirs and your libido pumping again.

For great information in a no-nonsense, practical and easy to read style and having a seperate guide both men and women Kate Dixon’s guide to fixing your sexless marriage has earned our highest score. Our only warning is the first few chapters are a little on the slow and common sense side but are a good setup for the rest which can have you changing your marriage sex life for the better even if you are fearful, have communication problems with your spouse or feel too hurt to overcome this.

Not only that it comes with a 100% money back guarantee which means you have nothing to risk but the chance to rekindle your sex life!

Click here for more information on “Fix your sexless marriage”

Healing After the Affair - 3 Tips to Overcome Infidelity in a Relationship

Affairs can tear the fabric of a relationship wide open and destroy the bond of trust that is the strongest force for keeping people together. Healing after the affair therefore is vital to mend broken trust and much to the surprise of many couples can reforge their marriage into something much stronger than before the affair.

How can surviving an affair lead to a better marriage? These 3 tips may explain the process…

1. Communication

Many marriage counselor have proven that couples who do not talk about the affair are statistically worse off that those who do. While it may seem like the hardest thing in the world to talk about when you are so hurt and angry the only way to move forward is to communicate your problems and listen to their reasons for their terrible choice. To be able to do this though you need to be able to control your anger and bitterness or such conversations will be negative or explosive and nothing will be learned.

2. Understanding

Through communication of the marital affair you can gain an understanding of the reasons behind it. This does not excuse their actions at all but without understanding these things you are not truly able to talk about the right things and maybe angry and hurt at things that you should not be. Understanding also comes in the form of knowing what was wrong with your relationship before the affair that might have led them to an affair which sometimes means you have to look at your own actions as well … again not an excuse for their actions, they made the choice but if you want to regain trust and heal your relationship after an affair you must be honest with yourself.

3. Change

Once you have an understanding of the affair and the relationship problems that might have been simmering before it you can actually start to take action, forgiveness can take time but building a better relationship from this event is the best thing you can do from a bad situation and healing after an affair will follow from this!

Obviously there is a lot more to healing from an affair so for more help click below to find guides written by expert marriage councilors that can offer you a roadmap to recovery allowing you to get past the hurt and bring love and happiness back to your life.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/