Marriage After Infidelity - How to Cope with an Affair in Marriage

marriage after infidelity is not easy and a lot of married couples cannot find a way to rebuild their marriage from the realities of infidelity because of the lack of trust, the emotional storm and the fact that most couples have never planned on infidelity and simply do not know how to handle it.

No one can be blamed for this however as no one would ever plan to be in such a situation. Infidelity does happen in many marriages however and as such,You may now need to know how to overcome infidelity in marriage when it does happen

Here are three things that can be helpful if your spouse has been having an affair but you still want to salvage your marriage.

Deal with Anger, Resentment & Jealousy

Anger, resentment and being jealous are all normal feelings after you find out your partner has cheated on you. However these things are ultimately not helpful to being able to move on and forgive or at least not be crushed by an affair. As such you need to find ways to stop these feelings from interfering with your day to day life and your conversations. This if course easier said that done but it has to happen or everything you do will be poisoned by these negative thoughts.

One line of thought you should follow is "I can always control how I ACT even if I cannot control how I FEEL!". Working through these feelings will take time but you are always in control of what you say and what you do even if you feel like you are going to burst if you do not get angry. If your emotions threaten to overwhelm you when communicating with your spouse simply tell them that you are too angry to talk but you will discuss it later when you calm down then go fro a walk.. You can go through that door when both of you are in the right headspace.

End Retaliation

This ideais related to controlling what you say and do but is more focused as it deals with another unhelpful thought: REVENGE.

some use verbal attacks in the form of verbal abuse, nasty comments and quips or talking about them behind their back. It might be physical attacks which is a very dangerous path but it can also mean physically attacking something they love or cherish too. It also might be passive aggressive retaliation or even worse sexual retaliation by cheating on your spouse to get them back.

Make sure these things do not happen as the bond of trust that has been pushed to absolute breaking point only need you to make one careless mistake to snap them completely. This could end your chance at rebuilding your marriage. In the end you must decide ... can I control myself and work to a solution ... it is your choice.

Leave the Past Behind

Another problem that can hinder your ability to communicate and find solutions and forgiveness in a marriage after an affair is thinking that you can reclaim the past and make things just like they were. Your marriage can never be the same again unless you ignore the whole affair and then you will be living a lie which has caused more marriages to fail than it has to keep them together.

You must instead be free from the past. The old marriage is gone, your old relationship was not what you really thought it was since they were unfaithful. Only when you realize your old life is history can you focus on your new life, your new relationship because basically, you must start from the ground up!

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