Trust After Affairs - Can It Be Rebuilt?

The key binding force in a marriage or any relationship for that matter is trust. Trust they will do the right thing by you, trust they will be there for you and trust they will be faithful. Trust after affairs though becomes a fragile thing and if it unravels completely the relationship usually comes crashing down. With this in mind rebuilding trust in a relationship is of utmost importance … but how can you trust again when the ghost of the affair is always there making you question their intentions?

There are 3 basic steps to this process but getting through each one can vary in application enormously depending the type of affair and many other factors. When it comes to surviving adultery though you should look to this outline to rebuild the trust.

• Understanding - Nothing in life can be achieved without any lasting success without understanding and relationships are the same. When dealing with a marital affair you must understand the reasons this happened because it is often not what you think! Many people believe it is all about sex but the opposite is usually true; the reasons for affairs do vary but they usually stem from a relationship breakdown of some kind and your partner strays to find something they feel is missing from their marriage. This does not mean it is your fault by any means … they made the decision to be unfaithful but it does mean you must look at your relationship before the affair and be honest in the mistakes BOTH of you made because trying to dump all blame on the cheater is a good way to never regain the trust and never heal the rift in your relationship.
• Reconciliation - To be reconciled is to acknowledge the wrongs of the past and to be able to live in harmony despite it. This is the hardest part for most people dealing with infidelity as even if you understand the reasons behind their affair forgiving them is hard to do. The anger and hurt can seem like too much of a burden to bear but if you have spoken about the affair enough and in a calm fashion to gain the understanding of the previous step you are more able to empathies with your partner without condoning their actions which leads to an ability to reconcile because you are not being asked to forgive for no reason.
• Change - Affair happen largely because of problems the unfaithful one had with your relationship which varies considerably based on the type of affair they had. If you have understood this and been able to reconcile this and not be bitter all the time about it then you can move on to the change which is key to rebuilding trust. If you understand the affair, no longer judge and get angry about it all the time then the things that led to the affair can be changed. Sometimes it may just be their problem that needs fixing and sometimes it may be things both of you need to change but in the end what it does is eliminate the problems and insecurities that lead to them seeking elsewhere for the things they thought they were missing.

So if you want to know in detail how to achieve these steps by knowing the types of affairs, how to manage your hurt and ultimately how to gain trust after affairs click below to find more information written by experts in this field.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/