Marital problem fixer!

Tips & Advice for Saving Your Marriage

2010-08-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

Is your marriage heading towards a painful and disastrous divorce? Do you feel that you could make it work if you could just stop this slippery slope and turn things back around again? Do you want a chance at a happy and normal marriage once more no matter what your problems are? Well take these quick tips for saving your marriage and get started!
Stop the Emotional Blackmail

This advice for saving your marriage is really essential. By tugging on the heart stings all the time you will start to cause emotional fatigue in your spouse. It will also feel like cheap shots when you say "but i love you" or "think about the kids!" or anything else that is going to hit a raw nerve, this will not work long term!

End the Constant Aggression

A failing marriage is prone to arguments and heated exchanges. This has to stop and YOU need to be the bigger person to stop it by stopping the retaliation all the time. Stop fighting back and just let their barbed words wash over you. They will stop the attacks when they realise you are not fighting back and then meaningful dialogue can start.

Stop Trying to Control Everything

You cannot control your partner. You cannot control your entire situation. Let it play out as the only thing you can control is yourself, what you say and what you do.

Stop Promising and Start Acting!

Talk is cheap so they say. You need to have a meaningful dialogue, but this has to be followed up with action that does not expect reward. Do things to prove that your marriage will change, don't just pay lip service to it. Make sure you do not expect to be rewarded for this either as this will make you bitter and expecting some sot of pat on the head. Just do it and the changes will come.

For more complete advice on stopping divorce click below to see he most popular guide on the net that has saved thousands of marriages heading for a terrible end. This does not need to be you!

Save My Marriage Today!

How to Save Your Failing Marriage - One Helpful Hint

2010-08-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

Saving a failing marriage is hard work. It is possibly one of the most difficult thing you will ever experience in life in fact so getting all the help you can is essential to making it work! Therefore, to save your failing marriage there are a few things you really need to know and here is one that is of vital important to the longevity of your marriage:

Stop Retaliating!

When a marriage is on the rocks things get heated. Yelling matches or cold snipes are common as both spouses compete to have the last word. In retaliation we try to feel we are hurting our partner as much as they are hurting us. A terrible game of tit for tat that benefits no-one and drives your marriage further towards the point of no return where no one can forget or forgive what was said.

This is why you need to stop the retaliation. Just end it. This can be hard when barbed words spring forth from your partners mouth and wound you deeply but you have to be the bigger person. You will find that not retaliating might hurt, but your partner will not continue the attacks if you do not react back. You will therefore have to take some hurt and just wear it and not let it fester ... let it go.

In doing this you can stop the aggression and be able to talk on a more normal and reasonable level about your problems and actually find ways to solve them without the entire thing being derailed! End that tit for tat and get your marriage back!

For more marriage saving advice, click below for the most popular divorce stopping guide on the net that has saved thousands upon thousands of failing marriages. You can come back from the brink ... even if you feel you are the only one trying!

Save My Marriage Today!

One Divorce Stopping Tip You Need to Know

2010-08-13T20:38:00.000-07:00

When we are facing a troubled marriage heading towards divorce we do a lot of silly things. Panic can set in and our judgement can become clouded leading to many problems. One important divorce stopping tip you should be aware of that will come in handy to avoid plunging this delicate situation even further into hot water is this:

Don't Try To Romance Your Relationship Back to Good Health

That right, all the romantic things you used to do are not going to cut it when you are in SERIOUS relationship troubles because lack of romance is probably not the major issue here. Also it SCREAMS desperation when you are throwing flowers, foot rubs, romantic dinners, sexual favours, and other things at your disgruntled spouse. This will feel really fake and over the top when just a little while ago these things were probably not in abundance.

Instead you need to really understand the root causes of their marital discord and work on that first. Romance will come later and feel more natural if you get the real basic marital needs working first and actions speak louder than words in this regard.

So leave the romancing out for a little while and start to really communicate and act on those exchanges without anger, resentment, or fear. This will bring you back to a stead marriage faster than surprise flowers or other equivalents.

For a complete guide on how to save your failing marriage click below for the internets more popular divorce stopping service. Even if you think you are the only one working on helping your marriage this have been proven to work again and again and again!

Save My Marriage Today!

What You Need to Know to Survive and Affair

2010-05-10T00:06:00.001-07:00

recovering from an affair is the most traumatic ordeal in the world as the hurt, pain and anger appear to take up residence in your heart and declines to move no matter what you attempt. This does not need to be the case though as we all have the choice to be happy and we all have the choice to change our outlook and bring other people along with this change of heart which can fix even the rockiest relationship.

The choice is an extremely important aspect of the healing process. It isn't as simple as merely waking up one and choosing to leave it all behind you as some people might attempt to do and end up lying to themselves, but instead it is the choice to stop grieving over the affair and to stop grieving over the lost marriage that once was and instead turn your sights to the future.

This means that the hurt and anger must be fixed so that you can get rid of the negativity from your mind in order to make that choice with a clear purpose and without falling again to anger and depression. How to do part for many people honest discussions about the extramarital affair and all that it entails.

The anxiety and fear about doing this can make many people feel physically ill as we shy away from finding out about details of your spouse in the embrace of another lover but that is not the point of it. The reason to discuss their affair is to discover the real reasons why they cheated on you beyond simple lust because most extramarital affairs happen because one partner is not getting something they want out of your marriage and end up looking for an emotional connection elsewhere.

This DOESN'T mean it was your fault before you think of it as such! Your partner made the decision to cheat. THEY chose to abandon their vows not you.

What it does mean is that if you know where your partnership may have left your lover unfulfilled you can address that hurdle taking consideration that it was serious enough to drive them to an affair so you can work to overcome those problems. It also means you can air your own feelings of rage and hurt in a civilized fashion with both of you in a "discussion" not an "argument". Only through this cathartic and informative discussion will you recover from an affair enough to eliminate the negativity to be able to make that choice … the choice to move in and create something new.

If you want more information on how to recover from an affair, click below to discover how you can turn your affair haunted marriage into a new, stronger and better one.

surviving an affair

Ideas On How To Fix A Sexless Marriage Fast

2010-01-22T20:30:00.001-08:00

When learning how to fix a sexless marriage your initial steps must be the correct ones or you may push your already strained marriage to a new low.

Avoid Making These Mistakes

Don't Get Angry

Unfortunately your anger is definitely your enemy here. Unleashing this anger will result in a further widening of the gap between you and your partner.

Don't Be Sexually Forceful

You need to ensure that you don't let your anger lead you into becoming overly aggressive in your advances.

You need to make sure that you avoid becoming forceful and instead focus on a softer approach

Don't Make it About You

While communication is crucial to help fix your sexless marriage there are some thing you should avoid discussing. One thing not to do is steer the conversation toward how hard done by YOU are. While it may be true it will make you sound selfish and weak in your partner’s eyes which will get you no closer to your goal.

The First Thing to Do to Fix a Sexless Marriage- Look to Yourself

At some stage your partner lost interest in you sexually. It is important for you to try and discover why this is and reverse the situation. By improving yourself you will make yourself more attractive.

At some stage in the past there was sexual chemistry - by being positive about yourself you are creating a situation this chemistry can be ignited once again

For more sexless marriage advice click below to get the advice you need to bring back intimacy and passion no matter how dire things may seem.

Fix Sexless Marriage

Discover The Steps To Rebuilding A Marriage After Infidelity

2010-01-05T04:31:00.000-08:00

How do you go about rebuilding a marriage after infidelity - where trust has been shattered and forgiveness seems unachievable. Once the affair is revealed, it often places more strain than the marriage can handle

Some couples will be up for the challenge, but there are others who will be lost and have very little clue as to what their first step should be. In short they need help

There is one key element however in this that the majority of couples wind up ignoring while attempting to rebuild a marriage after infidelity. When people ignore this key element, they often bring about their own downfall as the communication they sorely require cannot take place

This element is trying to hold on to the past and recreate your old marriage. While you might want your old life back, before this happened... or at least before you were aware of the infidelity... it cannot happen. Your old life is gone, your old marriage is no more and trying to revive it is like trying to stick a square peg into a round hole.

Instead you need to look at this as the start of a brand new marriage.Looking to the past is a good way to destroy your future. Looking to the future can increase your chances of actually having a future.

So step one is to acknowledge this and let go of those old things. Do not forget them - but do not pretend it can be like it was before. Rebuilding marriage after infidelity has a greater chance of success if this can be done successfully

For more information on Marriage After Infidelity click below to read my story of infidelity and healing and how it can help YOU.

Marriage After Infidelity

How to Cope In A Sexless Marriage - Tips To Rediscover Your Passion

2010-01-03T19:53:00.000-08:00

How to cope in a sexless marriage takes a level of commitment to change and solutions that sadly many men and women find difficult to achieve. It is a constant battle with anger, frustration and depression even if things are very bad in your marriage but take heart because there are way of coping for sexless couples that lead to more passion and an end to lonely nights in the same bed.

Dealing with your emotions is crucial to working this out. By maintaining your anger all the time you will end up driving your partner further away as opposed to making them more attracted to you

You need to assess yourself and decide if your confidence has taken a bit of a beating. Confidence is one of the traits that will increase your attractiveness so it needs to be an obvious quality you exude.

Starting the conversation is an important step you need to take. Make sure that you spend more time listening and less time talking.

Knowing how to cope in a sexless marriage can't really be taught. Each marriage is unique but as long as the love is still there you have hope.

For more information and help about sexless marriages then click below for advice from two people who have been through it have been able to cope in a sexless marriage

Sexless Couples

Can You Salvage Your Marriage After Infidelity Happens?

2010-01-03T17:27:00.000-08:00

Marriage after infidelity can be a nightmare of suspicion, emotional hurt, arguments and a slow descent towards separation and divorce.But if you are desperate to save your marriage, there are definitely ways you can both work together to make a new and improved relationship a reality. Some ideas for how to do this are listed below...

A huge part of recovering from your partners involvement in an affair is to look ahead and work out how to forgive your partner for their betrayal.This is not easy though and can take a long time to do for some people and a shorter time for others but it is possible if you remember these few tips:

Build a new marriage

It is very easy for a married couple to attempt to move past an affair by simply attempting to turn their marriage back to how it was before the incident took place... even when there were obviously problems that needed to be dealt with. Unfortunately in most situations this is not really possible. The trust that has been shattered means the past cannot be reclaimed and your relationship cannot be mended in such a simple manner.

The affair may be forgiven but it will never be forgotten, and so a new version of your relationship will need to be developed that allows you to move aheadand continue building your life together.

Banish anger and resentment

No one can begrudge you feeling as betrayed as you do, but it is important to avoid allowing yourself to become a slave to these feelings.By letting these emotions get the better of you, you risk driving an even larger wedge between you and your partner which may prove impossible to overcome

If you feel yourself caving in to the rage, step back, take a pause and resume when you are ready. A successful recovery from infidelity in marriage is dependent on your ability to keep communication open when your anger tells you to shut them down.

Do you want to know more about surviving an affair and fixing the trust and love in your marriage? If so click below to hear my story and how it can help you.

saving marriage after infidelity

Marriage After Infidelity - How to Cope with an Affair in Marriage

2009-12-28T19:54:00.000-08:00

marriage after infidelity is not easy and a lot of married couples cannot find a way to rebuild their marriage from the realities of infidelity because of the lack of trust, the emotional storm and the fact that most couples have never planned on infidelity and simply do not know how to handle it.

No one can be blamed for this however as no one would ever plan to be in such a situation. Infidelity does happen in many marriages however and as such,You may now need to know how to overcome infidelity in marriage when it does happen

Here are three things that can be helpful if your spouse has been having an affair but you still want to salvage your marriage.

Deal with Anger, Resentment & Jealousy

Anger, resentment and being jealous are all normal feelings after you find out your partner has cheated on you. However these things are ultimately not helpful to being able to move on and forgive or at least not be crushed by an affair. As such you need to find ways to stop these feelings from interfering with your day to day life and your conversations. This if course easier said that done but it has to happen or everything you do will be poisoned by these negative thoughts.

One line of thought you should follow is "I can always control how I ACT even if I cannot control how I FEEL!". Working through these feelings will take time but you are always in control of what you say and what you do even if you feel like you are going to burst if you do not get angry. If your emotions threaten to overwhelm you when communicating with your spouse simply tell them that you are too angry to talk but you will discuss it later when you calm down then go fro a walk.. You can go through that door when both of you are in the right headspace.

End Retaliation

This ideais related to controlling what you say and do but is more focused as it deals with another unhelpful thought: REVENGE.

some use verbal attacks in the form of verbal abuse, nasty comments and quips or talking about them behind their back. It might be physical attacks which is a very dangerous path but it can also mean physically attacking something they love or cherish too. It also might be passive aggressive retaliation or even worse sexual retaliation by cheating on your spouse to get them back.

Make sure these things do not happen as the bond of trust that has been pushed to absolute breaking point only need you to make one careless mistake to snap them completely. This could end your chance at rebuilding your marriage. In the end you must decide ... can I control myself and work to a solution ... it is your choice.

Leave the Past Behind

Another problem that can hinder your ability to communicate and find solutions and forgiveness in a marriage after an affair is thinking that you can reclaim the past and make things just like they were. Your marriage can never be the same again unless you ignore the whole affair and then you will be living a lie which has caused more marriages to fail than it has to keep them together.

You must instead be free from the past. The old marriage is gone, your old relationship was not what you really thought it was since they were unfaithful. Only when you realize your old life is history can you focus on your new life, your new relationship because basically, you must start from the ground up!

Click here for more information on surviving infidelity.

3 Surviving an Affair Tips

2009-03-02T00:54:00.000-08:00

Surviving an affair can be long and arduous process for those trying to mend their shattered marriage and rebuild the trust that has been lost due to one partners cheating heart. affair surviving can be done however as many successful marriages have overcome the problems and in many cases have come through stronger and better than before; sound unlikely? Well read on for some tips on how to survive an affair.

1. Control Anger & Hurt

Before anything more can be done one of the biggest problems in surviving infidelity in a relationship is anger and hurt. These emotions serve a purpose and they are justified to someone in your position but those that give in to rage and depression over a marital affair can never move forward. For instance, you must learn when to walk away from an argument without destroying it, say you will be back after a walk because you are too angry to talk right now and continue the discussion later. Do not end the discussion completely and do not ruin it with a yelling match and end up saying hurtful things … just get the anger out of your system elsewhere then come back and try again.

2. Communicate

This can not be stressed enough! Some couples end up not communicating about the affair because they know it will lead to another argument and others purposely choose not to talk about it thinking that by burying the past it can be forgotten. Neither of these approaches work … what works and what is the hardest thing to do is to talk about the affair, find out the who, when and why because only by understanding the affair can we inject some truth back into a relationship and from there can mend the wounds and find out what needs to change …

3. Realize It Will Never Be The Same Again

This is a stumbling block for many spouses who just want things like they were before the affair and cling to that hope for so long that when it never arrives they end up even worse. The reason for this is it never CAN be the same way as it was, nothing will change that. There is however, one powerful choice you can make here that can end the misery in time; you can choose to create a new relationship out of the old one! This choice combined with what you have learned means you can leave behind the old relationship that m ay have indirectly lead to your partners cheating and create a new one together that can be affair-proof because both of you know exactly what you need to create a successful, happy marriage and both of you will want to be with each other exclusively because you give each other everything you both need!

So if you want to find out step by step guides on how to achieve these steps, overcome and survive the specter of the affair and create the new marriage that you want click below to find out more.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

Recovering From an Affair Does Not Have to be Difficult

2009-02-27T00:52:00.000-08:00

Recovering from an affair can seem like the hardest thing in the world as the pain, anger and hurt seem to take up residence in your heart and refuses to move no matter what you try. This does not need to be the case however as we all have the choice to be happy and we all have the choice to change ourselves and bring others along with this change which can mend even the rockiest marriage.

The choice is a very important aspect of healing. It is not as easy as just waking up one day and choosing to put it all behind you as some people might try to do and end up lying to themselves but instead it is the choice to stop grieving over what has happened and to stop grieving over the loss of the marriage you once had and instead turn your sights to the future.

This means that the anger and hurt must be dealt with so that you can purge the negativity from yourself in order to make that choice with a clear purpose and without falling again to depression and anger. How to do this is the hard part for many people because it involves an honest and in depth discussion about the affair and all that it entails.

The anxiety and fear about doing this can make some people feel physically ill as we shy away from hearing about details of our loved ones in the embrace of another but that is not the point of it. The reason to discuss the affair is to uncover the real reasons why they did it beyond simple lust because most affairs happen because one partner is not getting something they want out of their marriage and end up looking for an emotional connection elsewhere.

This does NOT mean it was your fault before you think of it as such! THEY made the decision to cheat not you. THEY chose to abandon their vows not you.

What it does mean is that if you know where your marriage may have left your partner unfulfilled of wanting you can address that issue taking consideration that it was serious enough to drive them to an affair and work to fix those problems. It also means you can air your own feelings of anger and hurt in a civilized fashion with both of you in a discussion not an argument and only through this cathartic and informative discussion will you be recovering from an affair enough to purge the negativity to be able to make that choice … the choice to move in and create something new.

For more expert help on surviving an affair click below to get the help you need to create a happier life.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

Men, Divorce, Depression & Coping With It All

2009-02-25T00:52:00.000-08:00

Whenever I see an article about divorce, or watch a news or current affair report about life of divorcees it always seems to focus on the woman’s plight and not any problems of men. Divorce & depression are partners for men after a marriage fails and recent reports have suggested that men take divorce a lot harder than women for a number of reasons.

These reasons are usually linked with women’s ability to develop social networks that allow them to get the support, advice and help they need while men often do not have these things and try to be stoic in the face of a massively changed life with emotional turmoil building inside them. Marriage problems and the divorce often lead to one prominent emotional issue which is depression.

While there are enormous numbers of books written on depression you can find some good practical advice you can use straight away include:

Breaking down your problems into smaller pieces - Sometimes the divorce and problems after the event all pile up and can become unbearable making it depressing and overwhelming. Since there is no way back and no way out though you must start sorting your issues into smaller manageable chunks and just work at one at a time or the task may seem to be too much.
Do not focus on the negatives - This is probably the hardest thing to do when you are depressed and it is impossible to stop thinking about negative things. However to lessen the problems you must find good things and focus on them even if they seem too small to make a difference against the negatives. The trick is though it is like breaking your problems into smaller chunks … after a while you have collected enough good positive feelings, thoughts and emotions that they can start to make an impact … never let go of the good things and actions you take!
Have a goal - Men are very good at setting goals to achieve and we are biologically built to solve problems. Sometimes we do this in the most inappropriate way mind you but if we have the right tools we can build anything! With this in mind even if depression does strike you having something to do is important, it could be a life goal, an emotional goal or even a physical goal it does not matter. Achieving something makes men feel good at helps again depression and negative thinking.

For more advice by a man who has been through a messy divorce, depression and a whole host of other problems and has built a roadmap to recovery for men after divorce click below to find out more.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/divorce/

Fix Your Sexless Marriage - Book Review

2009-02-22T00:50:00.000-08:00

The frustration, shame and hurt that comes from a marriage that is lacking in physical intimacy can do more than hurt your self-esteem; it can bring on depression, effects the lives of your children if you have any and according to recent studies and statistics it can be a major part in decisions about divorce too.

This can be quite a dire state of affairs for a married couple but if it was so easy to fix surely you would have done it by now right? The problem is it is NOT easy to fix for many reasons such as:

Communication Difficulties
Resentment
Fear
Self Blame
… and more.

This is where you need help, this is where you need ammunition to fight this rut in your marriage and bring it back on track to be happier, healthier and full of wonderful, hot, passionate sexy SEX!

Enter “Fix Your Sexless Marriage” or “Get him/her in the mood” as it is also called written by Kate Dixon.

This e-book could be your key to unlocking the door to a more passionate marriage not because it will give you the information to directly turn your man or woman into lusty spouses but because it will change the way you live, think and feel about YOURSELF first and foremost which is the psychological secret to turning around a sexless marriage. Sounds too good to be true? Read on to see why it works …

At first we were skeptical of this e-book as you might well be too and acquired a copy of it which then made us realize there wee TWO guides, one specifically for men and one specifically for women. This piqued my interest and prompted me to delve in further to the guides.

Again I was not overly impressed to start with, the introduction and first section seemed like a little too much common sense and did not add much more than you would find anywhere else but this quickly changed the further I read.

While a lot of it was common sense Kate Dixon had the foresight to set the scene first and gently ease the reader into the meatier chunks of the guide which may well become overwhelming and perhaps even insulting to those not prepared to hear the solid gold advice she dispenses later in the book.

With a great mix of very practical measures you can take which seamlessly tie in with the underlying psychological problems that are the root cause of a sexless relationship this guides is not only great for rekindling the sex drive of your partner but it will give you an understanding of how your partner actually thinks from their perspective and how, by adjusting your own actions, beliefs and ideas for the betterment of your own physical and mental health … you will indirectly light a fire in their lovemaking furnace and get theirs and your libido pumping again.

For great information in a no-nonsense, practical and easy to read style and having a seperate guide both men and women Kate Dixon’s guide to fixing your sexless marriage has earned our highest score. Our only warning is the first few chapters are a little on the slow and common sense side but are a good setup for the rest which can have you changing your marriage sex life for the better even if you are fearful, have communication problems with your spouse or feel too hurt to overcome this.

Not only that it comes with a 100% money back guarantee which means you have nothing to risk but the chance to rekindle your sex life!

Click here for more information on “Fix your sexless marriage”

Healing After the Affair - 3 Tips to Overcome Infidelity in a Relationship

2009-02-20T00:49:00.000-08:00

Affairs can tear the fabric of a relationship wide open and destroy the bond of trust that is the strongest force for keeping people together. Healing after the affair therefore is vital to mend broken trust and much to the surprise of many couples can reforge their marriage into something much stronger than before the affair.

How can surviving an affair lead to a better marriage? These 3 tips may explain the process…

1. Communication

Many marriage counselor have proven that couples who do not talk about the affair are statistically worse off that those who do. While it may seem like the hardest thing in the world to talk about when you are so hurt and angry the only way to move forward is to communicate your problems and listen to their reasons for their terrible choice. To be able to do this though you need to be able to control your anger and bitterness or such conversations will be negative or explosive and nothing will be learned.

2. Understanding

Through communication of the marital affair you can gain an understanding of the reasons behind it. This does not excuse their actions at all but without understanding these things you are not truly able to talk about the right things and maybe angry and hurt at things that you should not be. Understanding also comes in the form of knowing what was wrong with your relationship before the affair that might have led them to an affair which sometimes means you have to look at your own actions as well … again not an excuse for their actions, they made the choice but if you want to regain trust and heal your relationship after an affair you must be honest with yourself.

3. Change

Once you have an understanding of the affair and the relationship problems that might have been simmering before it you can actually start to take action, forgiveness can take time but building a better relationship from this event is the best thing you can do from a bad situation and healing after an affair will follow from this!

Obviously there is a lot more to healing from an affair so for more help click below to find guides written by expert marriage councilors that can offer you a roadmap to recovery allowing you to get past the hurt and bring love and happiness back to your life.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

Is Your Marriage Becoming Sexless? Advice For Women Facing a Sexless Marriage

2009-02-18T00:48:00.000-08:00

Marriage without the intimacy and release of sex becomes a dull and fragile thing which can destroy a good marriage by sucking the joy and closeness out of what should be an amazing experience in love; physically, spiritually and mentally. If all these great things are enabled by making love then why is your marriage becoming sexless? There are a few conclusions women will come to when trying to define this problem but unfortunately most of them are wrong!

Many women take the path of self loathing believing that their husband does not find them attractive anymore; perhaps they think they have put on weight or do not have time to dress up anymore or they think that whatever fire of passion that was there has gone out because they are too familiar or that life is hard. In any case the wife blames herself which is terrible for mental health and confidence which becomes another issue. Why this is so wrong is that men appreciate confidence in their women just as women like confidence in men, a wife who wallows in self pity because she feels unattractive becomes the thing she does not want to be psychologically and eventually physically driving home a sexless marriage complex that infects both partners

The opposite spectrum are women who blame their man, perhaps they suspect him of having affairs or that he has become impotent and lost his sex drive. This can lead to resentment and sometimes to the wife having affairs as revenge or as a release which only makes matters much worse in a sexless marriage!

So what is the REAL reason your marriage is becoming sexless?

This is a complex issue but what many marriage counselors and therapists have found over the years is that men who stop having sex with their wives are rarely having affairs and nearly always still love their partner very much. What does this mean? It means the problem is more often than not the mans and often it is psychological.

Do you fear your marriage is headed for a break up over a lack of sex?
If so, you need to know you CAN turn this around!
Click below to find out how you can get a passionate and happy marriage and put an end to cold bedsheets and lonely nights
http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/sex/sexless-marriages

Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage - Book Review

2009-02-15T00:46:00.000-08:00

Sex and intimacy can be a very difficult subject to talk about with your spouse at times which can seem strange when a couple is suppose to be so close to each other that these subjects should be easy to converse about. The reality is that it is difficult and can make you anxious and can often cause arguments and fights when a lack of intimacy causes problems.

‘Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage’ is a downloadable guide that can help you find a way to overcome these difficulties and bring intimacy and sex back to a relationship gone cold. Dr Andrew Atwood is the author of this e-book and has some serious credentials behind him as a marriage and family therapist & social worker for over 30 years.

So what is it about this guide that can actually help a marriage or relationships struggling with a lack of sex?

Firstly, Dr Atwood has compiled a mammoth amount of information in his guide with 50 chapters in total covering an amazing variety of situations, solutions and advice that can apply to your particular situation as everyone’s problems are different.

Secondly, the book is insightful on a level that goes well beyond the bedroom and really shows that these problems are not a result of the first thing that we think of … sexuality. Covering the psychology, differences between men and women, family politics, power struggles, anxiety and much more along with the more physical aspects of a sexless marriage.

Thirdly, Dr Atwood creates a process for a couple to follow or even one dissatisfied partner. Not quite step-by-step but a good framework to make communication easier and a map to go forward to the next step to bringing back the intimacy.

Now while there are a lot of good points there are a few niggles and issues that can be found.

The large amount of information can sometimes be confusing and overwhelming if you approach it in the wrong way. Dr Atwood has constructed the book to be like a journey and you are benefited if you follow the book the way he intended but if you skip around it tends to become a mess. This is not a massive problem but you will not be able to just skip to the chapter that you want and find a solution; it is constructed as a journey not a trouble shooting guide.

Also the style of writing can be a tad silly which he does even admit on his website. He overuses the ‘car journey’ metaphor a bit too much which can be tiresome but it is forgivable in the context of his philosophy and his attempt to make the difficult easier to talk about.

So overall ‘Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage’ is a worth downloading for those in this frustrating situation. It can be used by anyone but is best for couples seeking an answer together or a relationship where both partners are at least somewhat willing to engage in the journey with their spouse more than those who are trying to somehow cause a change without involving their partner in their schemes.

Click here for more information about ‘Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage’

1000 Questions for Couples - Book Review

2009-01-07T19:51:00.000-08:00

To be blunt, one of the biggest factors in the high divorce rate nowadays is that couples fail to ask the big questions before they take the plunge and walk down the aisle.

If couples simply spent some time asking each other the questions that really matter, they’d greatly increase their chances of staying together.

If only they had spent some more time talking about the things that really matter and also the small things that can make all the difference the chance of a successful marriage would be far, far higher then before which is why this book can be so useful for couples on the verge of that commitment.

That being said is Michael Webb’s “1000 Questions for Couples” the right book to help you in this task?

To be brief, yes. This is a perfect book for this situation for a number of reasons beyond simply giving you questions to ask.

The questions start from lighter more fun ones covering things such as pets, vacations, food, well being and so forth and gradually builds up to the heavier meatier questions such as money, children, career, past and present relationships, religion, morals and even sex.

The amount of questions is exhaustive; I could not imagine any other question beyond what was in this book unless it was very unique and specific to your particular relationship.

It also does not beat around the bush, you get what you pay for and there is no fluff to pad out the book just what you need to know put forth in a way to ease into the bigger questions from the smaller fun ones which I appreciate.

There is also a cute bonus where you can have the ability to deliver 3 to 5 of the questions to your email every day. If 1000 questions sounds too much to handle then this might be a better way to make it more manageable and be able to do this on autopilot!

The author has featured in these shows and publications

There is very little I can say that is negative about this book, it does what it says it will do and you can not ask more than that. I do feel though that some more general chapters about marriage, engagement and relationships could have been added to illustrate the points of the questions but maybe I am nitpicking here.

This is a guide that you get the most out of by using it not as a bible but as a good way to inspire you to find out everything you need to know to make sure they are the right one for you to marry. It is also useful for any couple who may want to explore each other and become closer or as a dating resource for those looking for more topics to talk about when on a date too.

Click here to learn more about “1000 Questions for Couples”

More information about Engagement

How to Catch Cheating Girlfriends & Remove the Doubt

2009-01-06T01:37:00.001-08:00

Doubt is worse than actually knowing a terrible truth as it implants a lack of trust in your relationship which may not be warranted while also making you anxious and paranoid. If you want to remove this doubt you need to know how to catch cheating girlfriends so you can actually be sure of their guilt or innocence and from there you can actually confront them, dump them or try to mend your relationship depending on your own unique situation.

Signs of Cheating

The first thing to do is to look for signs of cheating, you have already picked some up if you are looking for this information but the more you find the better to discover the truth. Some commons things you need to watch out for include:

Changes in schedule - time is needed to conduct an affair so if you find your girlfriend has changed her routine greatly and keeps changing it by working late, being out of contact for much longer than is reasonable and being defensive about this you might have a sign of cheating.
Changes in Intimacy - The way your girlfriend interacts with you intimately be it sexually or just being close can change drastically if they are cheating on you. Sometimes they may become much more withdrawn and will not react to your advances anymore and other times they may become uncharacteristically overly intimate with you which may seem good but is it you they are actually thinking of. Women’s hormones make a big difference to this so do not jump to conclusions but if you know her usually moods during the month and this is different it may be a cheating sign.
Defensiveness - People who are doing something they know is wrong will often become very defensive if questioned about it, confronting them directly is a bad idea but if you probe a little bit and find them biting your head off for it you might have touched on a sore spot.
Phone or internet oddities - If your girlfriend uses her cell phone regularly and the internet and you find them taking phone conversations out of your ear shot and closing programs and browser windows when you get to close they might be trying to hide something.

Investigate

Once you have found enough signs of cheating to be reasonably sure they may be unfaithful you can stop wondering “is she cheating” and get to finding proof of girlfriend cheating because without proof you will find they can simply deny it and can even find ways to blackmail you for your hastiness. Proof of cheating is essential for you to be able to take any action so do not be too quick to do something out of anger and hurt before you have the proof and you understand what and why they are doing this. A few investigation tips for the modern digital age are as follows:

Cell phones - Cell phones can be a gold mine of information with call records and phone numbers along with SMS messages you can look at. Sometimes you can find a smoking gun but often they will be careful about keeping their phone clean but they do often forget to delete their call history …
Computers - Computers are an even bigger depository of information with chatting and online activities becoming much more closely linked it can have everything you need from visited sites, chat histories, cached content and email you can find out a lot about their unfaithfulness from a computer. If you find it is overly clean of any information though they may be deleting everything out of fear of being caught.

Even if you find proof of your girlfriend cheating from the cheating signs knowing if she is cheating may lead you to do things you regret, click below to find comprehensive guides to catching your cheating girlfriend in the act and also exactly how to handle the situation without making matters worse.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/how-to-catch-a-cheat/

50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships - E-book Review

2009-01-05T00:31:00.000-08:00

Bookstores have been full to bursting point with self-help books for relationships for years, thousands more marriage counselors seem to be setting up shop every year and of course the internet is also cluttered by a million pages about how to have a perfect relationship or marriage. So how does 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships by Oprah expert Michel Webb differ from the crowd?

Let’s have a look and see:

Firstly, it is good to see that this guide is based on real life examples rather that hypothetical scenarios where the author has complete control of the events in his own mind. Michel Webb actually provides real life examples from his own life to illustrate the points and solutions he makes with a warts and all approach which is refreshing.

Secondly, Michel Webb practices what he preaches and claims to have never had a fight with his wife Athena in 15 years which is remarkable. If you doubt this which I did at first you have to read exactly how he achieved this because it is riveting stuff that comes from real experiences and practice. After reading the book I can now see how this amazing 15 year streak can definitely be possible.

Thirdly, the book itself is simply set out with about one tip per day and just continues like this until the end of the book. Just about every tip had me shaking my head in agreement, as it gave me real-life solutions and several of those “a-ha” moments of profound understanding.

Thirdly, the book is well set out which is an undervalued thing when people are reviewing books. While the content is absolutely vital poor layout and poor written communication skills can turn any book no matter how good in advice into a confused clutter. Michael Webb takes a simple approach you can use in a couple of ways by having one tip a day for the whole book. You can read it one tip at a time one day at a time or you can read it through in a single sitting but the division of advice works well by not overloading the reader and still giving great advice and many a “a-hah!” moment when a p-particular tidbit leaps out at you and strikes a chord of new understanding of relationships.

: Michael Webb has appeared in these shows and publications

There are however a few niggles with the book that loveiscomplicated.info found. It is a bit TOO formulaic in its approach which might be a side effect of their layout system. They always have a story or unrelated example, followed by how that information ties into relationships and the topic at hand.

However, if this become annoying or you are impatient to get through a long winded story you can skip down to about halfway down the section to find the point he is trying to make without going through every tiny detail.

Also, instead of the tip titles providing a clear “how to solve X problem” or a clear topic description, it simply has a phrase that ties together with the information. Now while this is no big deal, it would have been nice to be able to skim the book to exactly the advice I wanted. Although if you read the information on the sales page, you can work out what information belongs where in the book. So it’s not too bad.

Another small issue is that the titles to each section do not give you a clear idea of what problem this tip and story associated with it is suppose to solve. There is a phrase that ties in with the information which you can hazard a guess from but no “This section solves or covers this problem”. This makes it hard to skim for the exact solution you may be looking for but it is not too bad as you can guess from the title often.

It is definitely a better book for those who want to read from cover to cover as this seems to be it’s design philosophy, but those that want to skip around will also not be left cold either.

All in all, this is one of the best relationship books I’ve ever seen and it definitely deserves a read, especially if you have serious problems in your relationship.

So, after all this is taken into consideration 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships deserve a read if you are interested in making your relationship better especially if you are having some serious issues that need to be sorted as this could turn things around for you quickly.

Click for more information on “50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships”

Click here for more marriage and relationship e-book reviews

Men & Divorce - Help For Life After Marriage

2009-01-03T14:42:00.000-08:00

When it comes to men & divorce, help is not as easily available as you might think. Because of the mans traditional role as breadwinner society and the media especially tend to focus on the plight of the woman who often ends up with the kids as well and their financial difficulties and so on and so forth. Nothing against this, but it is not just women who have it rough after divorce these days and I dare say even years ago!

Recent studies have shown that it is actually men who have the hardest time coping after a divorce not women. There could be many reasons for this but a few common problems seen are:

Men handle emotional turmoil badly
Men often lose custody of children adding to stress
Men are often more dependant on the support of their wife emotionally where women have a better network of friends and family to help them
Men are often not used to looking after themselves

Not all of these may apply to everyone but the emotional toll on a man after a divorce can cause depression, anxiety and often leads to some seriously foolish actions that come from bottled up feelings and mans greatest asset and liability; the need to do SOMETHING.

This is where men need to stop and think about things. Some men will hit the dating scene too soon without addressing their emotions and others may wallow in depression for a similar reason and that is they do not know how to deal with the whole experience and there is hardly any support for men after divorce.

However if there is one thing men are good at it is solving problems as long as they have the right tools. So in this situation you have to look at yourself and your journey after divorce as a project to work on, you need a plan, you need to investigate things, you need tools be they people to lean on, information of other people in the same situation and so on and from this you can slowly come to grips with this new life because it will never be the same again … but you can rebuild it stronger and with more insight than before.

If you want more help to undertake this task to end the misery of life after divorce then click below to inspect a guide that gives you a blueprint for success.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/divorce/

‘After The Affair’ Books - Do They Help?

2008-12-31T16:42:00.001-08:00

There is an awful lot of information out there on affairs and marriage and with any industry where there is competition it seems everyone is claiming a new method or a secret formula that will transform your life for the better. After the affair books and e-books are no exception to this which can put people off buying them but is this cynical view justified?

Hype & Marketing Vs Results

Sometimes it can a bit too easy to dismiss a helpful product because of overblown claims making you think it is too good to be true and therefore ignore it in the general background noise of life which is a shame because many of these books and e-books CAN be very helpful and are often written by experts who have many years experience. What they don’t do well sometimes is marketing themselves to the best effect because the only way to attract people’s attention is to be as loud and claim as many benefits to you as possible which can come off as crass. This is hard to avoid as the best way to attract attention is to target the exact situation you as a consumer might be in and advertise to your specific needs which can be quite varied even if you want the same result.

Actual benefits

Many ‘after the affair’ types of e-books can be very helpful to people facing life after a marital affair trying to survive adultery in a relationship. This is because they can bring clarity and structure to your efforts to rebuild your relationships and your life when anger, hurt and humiliation can send you on an emotional roller coaster that sometimes throws logic and planning out the window.

Having a guide with examples and ways to manage the rage and approach communications and issues with your cheating spouse without making the exercise useless can help you rebuild the trust that has been lost which is one of the most important binding forces in a marriage.

So if you do need some help to bring back trust, love and affection into a failing relationship because of your partner’s infidelity click below for reviews of ‘after the affair’ e-books to help you find the right guide that can help you.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

How to Catch Him Cheating - Evidence & Reasons

2008-12-22T13:58:00.000-08:00

By James Fargo

Infidelity is a terrible thing that destroys the trust in a relationship which is one of the the, if not THE most important aspect for success and longevity. When we are confronted by these suspicions and signs of cheating our first thought may be to confront your cheating boyfriend or cheating husband, this however can be a disaster without evidence so you need to know how to catch him cheating and importantly know the differences between evidence and knowing their reasons for cheating.

While no one condones unfaithfulness, many people who set out on the path to determine is he cheating or not focus just on the who and where which is enough for most women to then take whatever action they want but this only tells a part of the story and can backfire on your just as badly as not having any evidence. This is because you can make mistakes for one, and if you do not understand the entire picture of their behavior they may be able to manipulate the conversation to their advantage which can become very messy.

So with this in mind when you are trying to work out how to catch him cheating do not neglect all elements of evidence but also the psychological motives and reasons of why they have done this as well for a more complete understanding that will help you in whatever path you choose to take.

How to catch him cheating though requires you to think much like a private investigator looking for clues in all the places people might neglect to hide their infidelity or simply forget too. In this digital age one of the best places to check is cell phones and computers which have data in many places that could yield information such as:

SMS messages
Phone numbers
Bookmarks
Internet histories
Internet cache
Email
Social Networking sites
dating sites

If you want to know more on how to catch a cheating lover from experts who know the technology, pitfalls and successful methods click below to find downloadable guides that can help you uncover their infidelity or prove their innocence once and for all.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

Trust After an Affair - Can it Be Regained?

2008-12-22T01:36:00.000-08:00

Trust is the strongest bond a relationship can have and without it most marriages cannot survive and fall apart like a house of cards. Trust after an affair therefore is something that is missing and must be regained if there is any hope for your relationship to continue without divorce or further problems and infidelity.

With this in mind how can trust be regained in a relationship tainted by a marital affair?

The answer is not a simple, or an easy one but many people who have followed the right path have managed to create a marriage that is stronger and better than it was before because regaining the trust means rebuilding your relationship based on the understanding of the affair and the problems in your marriage before it.

This means open and honest communication between you and your cheating spouse which is what many people feel they cannot do because of a few issues:

Fear - Fear of knowing the problems, fear it may be your own fault somehow, fear of knowing details that will make you upset.
Anger - You cannot have a conversation with your partner about the subject because you get angry and cannot talk properly due to outbursts or such a negative response to every answer that it does not seem productive.
Do not WANT to listen - Many people do not want to listen to their partner about the affair and the reasons behind it because they do not want to give their partner any chance to make excuses and would rather BE angry and use the affair as some sort of weapon to hold against them. This is a poisonous thing that leads to MORE affairs and often divorce and misery.

If you can find a way through these issues and truly understand everything about the affair in an attempt to revive your relationship and deal with the problems that led to your partner straying (which is their fault NOT yours) then you can be more trusting of them because the reasons that breed the mentality for infidelity will be gone and you AND your partner will have the understanding needed to see why you want to be with each other exclusively because your marriage becomes not just a binding contract to faithfulness but something you both WANT to be in rather than a duty to be upheld!

So if you want more information on surviving adultery in your marriage click below to find guides that can give you a roadmap to recovery that will help you get past the anger and hurt and rebuild trust and love once again.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/dealing-with-an-affair-e-book-reviews/

Catch Your Husband Cheating Without Hiring a Private Investigator

2008-12-21T02:58:00.001-08:00

Affairs destroy the one binding force that ties all relationships together … Trust. When you know your husband has been cheating on you that bond of trust disintegrates but at least the issue is out in the open if you have proof and they have admitted it. If you suspect your husband is unfaithful however and have yet to catch your husband cheating then you suffer a twofold dilemma, the trust is gone and you are left with the anxiety of not knowing for sure and the options seem to be to stay quiet and hope or to confront them without any proof or hire a private investigator … or is there another way?

The option more and more women facing this problem choose is to take action! Living in distrust and anxiety thinking “is my husband cheating” is no way to live and hiring someone can be extremely expensive and can be difficult to do without your husband finding out. Instead being able to conduct your own investigation is something anyone can do and can do better than an investigator because you are their wife!

The first thing to know is that sometimes you may not be able to find a ’smoking gun’ to prove you have a cheating spouse such as dirty messages, underpants, pictures of them kissing and so forth … instead most evidence is gathered over time in bits and pieces. Further to this, the digital nature of our lifestyle has influences detective work as well as how men cheat with online dating sites, social websites like facebook, instant messenger services and of course email.

So the first step you should take is to get digital. Check their cell phone for evidence, SMS messages phone numbers and names that you do not recognize and so forth, also check their computer but do not just look in the obvious places such as emails, search website histories or if you are more tech savvy check their cookies to see what sites they might visit even if they clear out their history and cache. If this is so totally clean it is obvious they are deleting all evidence you may need to go one step further on the digital front by using spy software that remains invisible to your cheating husband and tracks what they do for you to inspect later.

So if this sounds like something you can do and you want to know more on how to catch your husband cheating click below to find out how to end the uncertainty and prove their guilt or innocence.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

Marriage After Affairs - 3 Tips to Rebuild Your Relationship

2008-12-20T14:14:00.000-08:00

Marriage after affairs is a changed thing that will never be the same again. This can be a scary statement for many people but it can also be a statement than can be used to heal a relationship and make it better and stronger!

“God never closes a door without opening another” Whether you are a believer or not this saying is essential to believe as it basically says it is up to you to treat change as a good thing or a bad thing. Some tips to go from an affair torn marriage to a strong trusting relationship are as follows:

1. Talk

As hard as it is to talk about the affair this is vitally important to creating a stronger relationship and ending the hurt. The benefits of talking about the affair come from gaining an understanding of the problems in your relationship that caused your spouse to seek for something they felt they had lost or did not have with you. This does not mean you caused this though … never think that! It does however allow you to pinpoint the reasons they felt they needed to do this which allows you to move forward by closing that old relationship and opening the door to a newer and better one.

2. Stay calm

The anger and hurt that stems from a marital affair can ruin your chance of happiness if you let explosive outbursts designed to hurt control you or maybe a long lasting bitterness will taint every interaction with your cheating spouse. It is important to get over this anger in time, it is important to deal with the anger and not suppress it but when dealing with your partner you must control it or it will bring whatever you are working towards undone.

3. Take Your Time

You cannot rush this healing process no matter how much you may want to find a way to move on. People who look for a quick fix often either divorce thinking that it is easier alone or they repress their feelings which does not fix the problems and it also does not heal anything, the anger continues to bubble below the surface along with the distrust.

For more marriage advice on how to deal with life after an affair click below to discover roadmaps to recover from infidelity written by experts in marriage counseling that can help you understand and affair and build a stronger and better marriage from it.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

Healing After Affairs - Can You Trust Again?

2008-12-19T14:55:00.000-08:00

Healing after affairs can seem like the most difficult thing in the world when the hurt and distrust threaten to tear apart what little bonds are left in your relationship. One of the biggest problems facing this healing process is regaining trust in your partner and knowing they will not be unfaithful again with a marital affair and to give your trust back to this person who violated it once (or more) can be a difficult thing to do; so how do people mend this rift?

The first thing to know in surviving an affair is that you should never give your trust back unless you understand why they had the affair and how to use this information to create change that will ensure a trusting and lasting marriage. Sounds so simple in one sentence doesn’t it, but we all know the reality is not that easy so let’s break this down a little bit.

Understanding
The reasons most marital affairs happen is that one partner feels there is something missing in their relationship and thinks they have found it with another man or woman. What this is may be variable and often leads to many different types of affairs which also make a difference to how you should approach them. If you want to rebuild the trust and heal the rift between yourself and your partner you must understand the affair keenly and while this may seem like the last thing you want to talk with your partner about it must be done or the same fertile ground for adultery will still be there. Try to talk to them in short periods in a calm manner and if it gets too hard or explosive stop and come back to it later but it must be done to gain the understanding you need to rebuild trust after an affair.

Change
Once you understand the affair you must then find the things led them to commit this deed. This means you must realize the key problems in your relationship before the affair which may involve sharing some blame for this breakdown of a relationship … this does NOT mean you should blame yourself for the affair though! It simply means that sometimes (not always) affairs come from relationship problems both parties must take ownership of. Once these are found and can be identified as the reason your partner was unfaithful you can look to fixing those relationship issues so that those things they thought were missing are back in their life and they do not need to seek elsewhere to find something they feel will complete them.

So if you are surviving adultery and wish to heal your relationship and your own emotions click below to find roadmaps to recovery that can help you overcome the anger and hurt, rebuild trust and come out the other side of an affair better than life was before it.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

Trust After Affairs - Can It Be Rebuilt?

2008-12-19T03:58:00.001-08:00

The key binding force in a marriage or any relationship for that matter is trust. Trust they will do the right thing by you, trust they will be there for you and trust they will be faithful. Trust after affairs though becomes a fragile thing and if it unravels completely the relationship usually comes crashing down. With this in mind rebuilding trust in a relationship is of utmost importance … but how can you trust again when the ghost of the affair is always there making you question their intentions?

There are 3 basic steps to this process but getting through each one can vary in application enormously depending the type of affair and many other factors. When it comes to surviving adultery though you should look to this outline to rebuild the trust.

Understanding - Nothing in life can be achieved without any lasting success without understanding and relationships are the same. When dealing with a marital affair you must understand the reasons this happened because it is often not what you think! Many people believe it is all about sex but the opposite is usually true; the reasons for affairs do vary but they usually stem from a relationship breakdown of some kind and your partner strays to find something they feel is missing from their marriage. This does not mean it is your fault by any means … they made the decision to be unfaithful but it does mean you must look at your relationship before the affair and be honest in the mistakes BOTH of you made because trying to dump all blame on the cheater is a good way to never regain the trust and never heal the rift in your relationship.
Reconciliation - To be reconciled is to acknowledge the wrongs of the past and to be able to live in harmony despite it. This is the hardest part for most people dealing with infidelity as even if you understand the reasons behind their affair forgiving them is hard to do. The anger and hurt can seem like too much of a burden to bear but if you have spoken about the affair enough and in a calm fashion to gain the understanding of the previous step you are more able to empathies with your partner without condoning their actions which leads to an ability to reconcile because you are not being asked to forgive for no reason.
Change - Affair happen largely because of problems the unfaithful one had with your relationship which varies considerably based on the type of affair they had. If you have understood this and been able to reconcile this and not be bitter all the time about it then you can move on to the change which is key to rebuilding trust. If you understand the affair, no longer judge and get angry about it all the time then the things that led to the affair can be changed. Sometimes it may just be their problem that needs fixing and sometimes it may be things both of you need to change but in the end what it does is eliminate the problems and insecurities that lead to them seeking elsewhere for the things they thought they were missing.

So if you want to know in detail how to achieve these steps by knowing the types of affairs, how to manage your hurt and ultimately how to gain trust after affairs click below to find more information written by experts in this field.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

Dealing With an Affair - The First Step to Ending the Misery

2008-12-04T00:37:00.000-08:00

Dealing with an affair in your relationship can seem like an impossible task as the specter of your partner’s infidelity eats away at the bonds that hold your relationship together. It can seem like you can never have the same trust as you once did and life will never be back to like it was before … and it never will be but that is what you must first deal with!

Realizing that life is and will always be different now is the most important step you can take for a few reasons that tie into every part of surviving, recovering and dealing with infidelity. Some of these reasons are listed below:

You are not dwelling on the past - To be free of an affair constantly thinking back on the negative feelings you have and the reasons behind the affair simply mire you to negative thoughts and create stress and anger long beyond what may be healthy.
Life as it was may have led to the affair - As hard as this may be to accept, your life before your partner cheated on you and became emotionally and/or sexually involved with someone else may have led to a relationship breakdown that facilitated the affair. This does NOT excuse their behavior at ALL mind you … but it may have created fertile ground for them to do the things they did.
Wishing for things as they were stop you moving forward - Living in the past stops you moving forward and if you want to be dealing with an affair in a productive way that allows you to heal your relationship you must be willing to talk about the past and the reasons for their unfaithfulness even if it hurts and use this information to move forward and get beyond the hurt and anger not by forgetting but by understanding your partner on a new level and your relationship in a new light.

So if you are living in misery after the affair and want more information on how to get past the anger and pain and rebuild trust and love in your relationship click below to find guides written by expert councilors that can give you a roadmap to recovery.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

Catch Him Cheating - 3 investigative Tips

2008-12-04T00:35:00.000-08:00

The suspicion is eating away at your heart and your mind, fraying your emotions and making you sick and exhausted. Knowing the truth would be a relief from the constant anxiety when you think “is he cheating?”. So what is a girl to do? Confront him without proof and risk denial and further problems? Or catch him cheating and remove all doubt and all objections and open the way to end the affair? I know which one sounds better to me!

A cheating husband or boyfriend should only be confronted about their unfaithfulness if you have the evidence to prove guilt as without this they can deny it, make their cheating harder to catch and even use your outburst as emotional blackmail further on so staying calm and collected during this period is essential even though it is very hard and you may feel sick from the anxiety it is for the best if you want to catch him cheating. So to do this here are a few tips that can help you investigate.

1. Cell Phones

Cell phones are an amazing source of information in this digital age if your husband or boyfriend is not careful about his data. In a phone you can find SMS messages, numbers frequently called, names, photos, videos and more. If you find that the phone is spotlessly clean of this though it may be that they are careful about hiding this data which may not be a smoking gun but it may be a sign of cheating.

2. Computers

The average PC is an even better source of information on a cheating husband or boyfriend and investigating his computer should be a priority when planning how to catch a cheating husband because of the same reasons as cell phones because data and messages from their lover can be found but also because it is so easy to be unfaithful on the internet with dating sites, chat rooms and social websites that many men are tempted because it is easy to do. Search internet histories and emails and you can find evidence on a computer or at least more signs of cheating.

3. Surveillance

Sometimes your partner may be very tech aware and covers their tracks digitally and physically and you feel that they ARE cheating but you cannot find the evidence to prove it. In these cases you must step up the game and use surveillance to find the evidence you cannot get or they delete. There are many software programs that run invisibly on a computer than can track these things and many more physical bugs and video devices than can also be used if it comes to that as well.

For more information to catch him cheating including details of how to acquire and use surveillance tools click below to find guides than can end the torment of suspicion and distrust.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

How to Catch Your Wife Cheating - 3 Investigation Tips

2008-12-04T00:30:00.000-08:00

How to catch you wife cheating can be an awful process to go through but for men who suspect they have a cheating spouse the need to know and be sure is an immediate concern as the not knowing is often worse than finding out the truth.

The reason for this is that if you do not have proof you will constantly be thinking “is my wife cheating” and the anxiety and paranoia can destroy your marriage even if you might actually be mistaken! The point of trying to catch a cheating spouse is that you can at least have the whole story and be able to move on, confront them with facts or whatever action you want to take … but you can take it with more confidence. The trust is already destroyed in your relationship if you know or just suspect so stop wondering is she cheating and find out for sure for everyone’s benefit.

How to catch my wife cheating then you ask?

Private investigators can do this with a wide variety of methods but if you pay attention you can do this on your own as long as you keep a calm disposition, a logical frame of mind and be aware of what she is doing and saying. Some techniques that find clues and proof are listed below:

1. Digital Communications - One of the most important ways to catch a cheating spouse is to investigate the digital ‘paper trail’ that we all leave in this modern age of cell phones, emails, internet dating sites, social networking sites and more. Cell phones are a good source of phone numbers to investigate and SMS messages to spy on and the home computer (or work computer) can contain emails, internet site histories, internet cache, or if they are sloppy just bookmarks to suspect sites. If this proves to be a dead end and too clean they may realize you might be looking and deleting everything to cover their tracks … this may not be the end as there is software than can track peoples movements on a computer without being detected that could be of use.
2. Bank accounts - Money is often needed when in an affair as a cheat often gives gifts, pays for motel rooms, dinners and so forth. While a woman is often harder to track as men tend to do the paying anomalies can be found in credit card statements and bank accounts statements. Payment to expensive restaurants, motels or even to buy birth control or sexy underwear you have never seen might raise a flag. Also large sums of money withdrawn from ATMs may be in indication that they are trying to pay for cash on things so they cannot be traced in this way and can be a vital clue.
3. Time - Time is the most important asset to a cheating spouse as they need time to be with their lover and this is something you need to track. Where are they? Why did they take so long to get home from work? Why is nothing done when she said she would be cleaning all day? These are some questions to ask yourself but remember not to be too direct or to get too nosey on this matter until you have more proof because this can cause more problems in the long run.

While it may be hard to stay unemotional during this period it is vital to do so when you set ask yourself how to catch my wife cheating. Without expert advice though you can make some serious mistakes that can damage things further and make it harder to catch them cheating.

So if you want to avoid these pitfalls and prove their guilt (or their innocence!) click below to find guide written by experts on catching a cheating spouse that can give you step by step instructions to end the anxiety.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

How to Catch Your Wife Cheating - 3 Investigation Tips

2008-11-28T03:21:00.000-08:00

How to catch my wife cheating then you ask?

1. Digital Communications - One of the most important ways to catch a cheating spouse is to investigate the digital ‘paper trail’ that we all leave in this modern age of cell phones, emails, internet dating sites, social networking sites and more. Cell phones are a good source of phone numbers to investigate and SMS messages to spy on and the home computer (or work computer) can contain emails, internet site histories, internet cache, or if they are sloppy just bookmarks to suspect sites. If this proves to be a dead end and too clean they may realize you might be looking and deleting everything to cover their tracks … this may not be the end as there is software than can track peoples movements on a computer without being detected that could be of use.
2. Bank accounts - Money is often needed when in an affair as a cheat often gives gifts, pays for motel rooms, dinners and so forth. While a woman is often harder to track as men tend to do the paying anomalies can be found in credit card statements and bank accounts statements. Payment to expensive restaurants, motels or even to buy birth control or sexy underwear you have never seen might raise a flag. Also large sums of money withdrawn from ATMs may be in indication that they are trying to pay for cash on things so they cannot be traced in this way and can be a vital clue.
3. Time - Time is the most important asset to a cheating spouse as they need time to be with their lover and this is something you need to track. Where are they? Why did they take so long to get home from work? Why is nothing done when she said she would be cleaning all day? These are some questions to ask yourself but remember not to be too direct or to get too nosey on this matter until you have more proof because this can cause more problems in the long run.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

How to Catch a Cheating Husband & End Your Uncertainty

2008-11-27T02:55:00.000-08:00

Instead of wondering "is he cheating" if you have found signs of cheating you need to discover how to catch a cheating husband because without concrete evidence and proof of infidelity you may make the number one mistake that many women make and confront him without it which has several consequences!

Without evidence they can deny it
It tips them off and they will become better at hiding it
If they are NOT cheating you have just destroyed the trust in your marriage
Without proof they can use your confrontation to emotionally blackmail you

So you see the importance of proper proof in this matter not only to make them see you actually do know but if they are innocent of your suspicions you need never bring up what you suspected. This happens more often than you think where something that looks like a signs of cheating turns out to be something a lot more innocent than you think and the lack of trust you develop by suspicion is as bad as the broken trust from actual infidelity.

So if you are wondering "Is my husband cheating on me" you have to be aware of the signs of cheating and be able to follow them to their source for evidence to prove of disprove unfaithfulness. To do this you need to think like a detective and find the right clues that can be built into a full picture of the affair or if you are lucky you may find a 'smoking gun' where a single bit of evidence can tell all like a tell all letter or a taped conversation.

There are two ways you can do this; passive or active

Passive means that your version of how to catch a cheating spouse is based on quietly collecting evidence over time and being aware but not taking direct action to trap them or force their hand.

Active means you believe how to catch a cheating husband is all about finding the evidence even if it means spying, laying traps and finding out by whatever means which is a lot faster and more effective but only if you do it RIGHT because if you make a mistake it can be even WORSE than confronting them without proof and can backfire quite badly.

So to find out how you can take action and not be found out until you have the evidence to prove or disprove their cheating click below and end the uncertainty and heartache.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

Can You Save Marriage From Divorce?

2008-10-10T16:37:00.000-07:00

We always seem to start off our marriages with high hopes and dreams, with romance and passion and a belief that nothing will ever drag us apart. This may be true for some till death do they part but for half of marriages today this is not the case and the worst starts to happen, you drift apart and you start desperately trying to find ways to save marriage from divorce.

The reasons for marital problems are many and varied from arguments about money, the changes in their lives from children, general work/life stress and often from problems in the bedroom as well. The list could go on forever though with mild differences from couple to couple but in the end all roads lead to separation and divorce if nothing is done to mend the growing rift which is one of the hardest parts of life if you ever have to experience it.

Research has shown however that not all hope is lost. Most couples who end up heading towards divorce have claimed that they still love their partner but either feels they cannot bring themselves to say so or they cannot live with them even though they do love them. Many have also stated that one of the primal reasons for a divorce apart from all the obvious things is that their love is not growing for their partner anymore so they feel something is wrong which leads to those terrible arguments. However the point is that in most cases love still remains and with this there is always a hope to save marriage from divorce.

With this in mind there are ways to save marriage from divorce by breaking down the barriers that have stifled this growth in love which at its core is all about communicating. This is not a new concept and many people already know this only to find when they try to communicate it does not work because they are not communicating with love but with logic, with words, with an attitude with an agenda.

When you stop talking and start communicating with love and understanding you can save marriage from divorce and unlock the potential fro growth of love that has been weighing down your marriage.

One immediate step you can take to ensure you are on the right path is to take control of your ego when you communicate and do not let your ego control you. When you want to respond and defend yourself with an accusation stop and let it slide as infuriating as that may be because if you defend yourself you simply inflame the situation further. Stop thinking in points scored and start thinking about compassion as sappy as it may seem and you can defuse a heated argument to a level where you are really communicating what you feel without ego or anger which goes a long way to save a marriage and stop divorce.

For more ways to stop an impending divorce even if you seem to be the only one trying click below to find a step by step formula that expert marriage counselors have put together to help couples in trouble.

http://Stop-Divorce.1001-Solutions.info

Article Source: http://ezinearticles.com/?Can-You-Save-Marriage-From-Divorce?&id=1368435

Sexless Marriage? No Intimacy?

2008-10-01T04:38:00.000-07:00

A marriage without the passion and intimacy of sexual intercourse may function and go on but it is missing such a vital component it is like having a leak that will eventually deflate the relationship until divorce looms or both partners become bitter and stuck in their sexless marriage. No intimacy in marriages is not as uncommon as you might think either with an estimated 18% of all married couples being classed as in a sexless relationship by having sex less than 10 times per year; that is a frightening statistic that can be compared to the extremely high divorce rate I am sure.

The causes of these passionless marriages is not always easy to track down, many people simply lay it down to a lack of physical attraction or boredom with each other. I find this hard to believe though as there are many married couples who even in old age are passionate and find each other attractive despite the advances of years. Why do some people keep that spark in their lives and others seem to lose their sex drive much to the frustration and humiliation of their partners?

What most experts will tell you is that a couple in a happy marriage with intimacy and passion have a level of communication that allows them to overcome problems in their lives and relationship that the couple living in a sexless marriage do not have. Communication is essential for uncovering the true reasons a person loses their sex drive, it is usually not a physical thing but an emotional burden they carry that could be related to stress, abuse, disappointment, depression, anxiety or a whole host of other issues that they cannot seem to articulate or sometimes do not even know they suffer from but it spills forth in a disinterest in sex.

What this means for those in a sexless marriage with no intimacy is that if the underlying cause of this rejection of your body were to be fixed you could gently coax the fires of passion back to a blazing furnace and keep it that way too!

Before you start trying to fix your sexless marriage click below to discover the top 5 mistakes men and women make trying to fix their relationship problems that just make matters even worse!

http://sexless-marriage.1001-solutions.info

Source:

http://ezinearticles.com/?Sexless-Marriage?-No-Intimacy?&id=1467529

No Physical Intimacy in Marriage? Tips For More Passion

2008-09-28T05:14:00.000-07:00

"Come on honey, it has been such a perfect night ... don't you think I am sexy?", "Listen, I am tired, let's just sleep ok." ... Does this sound familiar to you? For nearly 20% of marriages it does all year around as there is no physical intimacy in marriage for them just cold bed sheets, frustration, depression and humiliation as someone who was once their lover rejects them time and again leading to this terrible situation:

The Sexless Marriage

Sometimes this can be cured with a change in your relationship and how you communicate and approach sex that can bring out the primal instincts in men and women. Try the following to try to ignite some passion:

* If you are a man try to remember women take a lot longer than males to get aroused and if they are not in the right emotional state of mind it will not happen at all. Try being a romantic with baths, massages, candles, and a nice cooked meal. Make then feel like a princess for a night and it can stir the fires of passion once more.
* If you are a woman remember men like to feel like kings when it comes to sex. While men are lampooned as simple when it comes to sex their emotive state is very important if their sex drives seems to have gone out, make sure they know they are masculine to you and powerful. Praise them and make them feel appreciated for their hard work in life and the bedroom and you can start their testosterone pumping again.
* If this sounds all to familiar and has not worked for you before the problem may be a lot deeper and a lower sex drive may not cured by simple gestures and words, instead the lack of physical intimacy in marriage may be caused by some emotional or psychological problem that you may not even know about. In this case a level of sensitivity, compassion and communication is needed to discover and fix this underlying problem.
* With either of the above methods there is one thing you must never do lest it make situations worse and that is trying to force the issue, becoming angry and aggressive or petulant and sulky will simply make communication impossible and make damage things further so that you will close off the possibility of reconciliation and a resolutions to a sexless relationship.

Before you start trying to fix your sexless marriage click below to discover the top 5 mistakes men and women make trying to fix their relationship issues that just make matters worse!

http://sexless-marriage.1001-solutions.info

6 Signs Of A Cheating Husband

2008-05-31T18:27:00.001-07:00

Spotting infidelity can be a confusing thing and we tend to act irrationally when emotions are high so we often take small innocuous clues to an extreme without giving it any real thought. While it may be tempting to accuse your husband and find out the truth immediately some suspicious signs of a cheating husband may actually be something as simple as trying to organize a surprise party for you or something else so make the right choice and gather all the evidence before you strike. Some signs to look for in your detective work are:

Full article here: 6 Signs Of A Cheating Husband

How To Tell If Your Wife Is Cheating On You

2008-05-31T18:24:00.002-07:00

Affairs are ugly, poisonous things that can fester in a relationship when they suspicion is there but no proof. Living with the thought of your wife in another mans arms but not having enough evidence to actually confirm this can be worse than the truth. So how to tell if your wife is cheating on you? The answer is often not one revelation but a mounting evidence of infidelity that you must be alert to so you have enough clues to confront her or discover the truth yourself.

Full article here: How To Tell If Your Wife Is Cheating On You

6 Signs Of A Cheating Boyfriend

2008-05-31T18:24:00.001-07:00

The insecurity and uncertainty of suspicion of infidelity is a poison to relationships that must be purged by the truth or it will fracture whether the accusation is true or not. Too many either accuse without proof ignoring the signs of a cheating boyfriend or wait too long for some concrete proof and live a life of simmering anger and frustration. In the interests of making a better informed decision on what to pursue here are 6 signs your boyfriend may be unfaithful.

Full article here: 6 Signs Of A Cheating Boyfriend

4 Key Infidelity Warning Signs To Watch For

2008-05-31T18:23:00.002-07:00

To stop the endless suspicion and the poisonous relationship this creates when you suspect your partner of being unfaithful you need to watch for infidelity warning signs that give you the impetus to find the truth. While your intuition may be screaming at you that something is wrong many relationships have been hurt by false accusations by one person when the other was acting strangely for different reasons so reign in your emotions and start thinking like a detective and collect these clues.

Full article here: 4 Key Infidelity Warning Signs To Watch For

4 Key Warning Signs Of Infidelity

2008-05-31T18:23:00.001-07:00

Infidelity is a terrible betrayal of trust which can have long reaching effects on a relationship and even other relationships in the future. The only thing that is worse than finding out your partner has been unfaithful is suspecting but not knowing; this is a poison that can ruin a relationship even if they have not been unfaithful as the distrust festers. If you have this poison starting to infect your life here are 5 key warning signs of infidelity to watch for and act on.

Full article here: 4 Key Warning Signs Of Infidelity

Infertility Causes marital stress

2008-03-23T20:59:00.000-07:00

many marriages has serious problems if one partner is infertile for some reason. While there are things you can do about this PCOS in women has been given relitivly little attention.

Click here to read more!

PCOS natural treatment

Sleep deprivation causes break ups

2008-03-22T03:00:00.000-07:00

lack of sleep is a major problem in this country and many relationships fail because of stress piled upon stress piled upon more stress piled upon lack of sleep .. and who can sleep when you are already so stressed!

One thing you can do to help your relationship if you find youraslef tired and snappy is to learn to rest better, with this you can start to build a stronger relationship as you are not having mental problems due to poor mental performance.

Here is an excellent guide to help you sleep better.

Why Am I Always So Tired

Sexually transmitted diseases

2008-03-22T01:55:00.000-07:00

While in a marriage or planning for one the problem with STDs is a tricky one. AIDS of course is deadly and very very sad but others are painful and annoying but mostly they are transferrable and so a healthy sex life if one partner has an STD is a hard thing to do.

For more information on Herpes in particiular check this site out for a way to stop herpes for good.

natural herpes remedy

Porn Addiction

2008-03-19T03:53:00.000-07:00

Recent statistics have shown that half of all divorced in the US have links to porn addiction by husbands. This is a problem within relationships with little media coverage.

Here are some articles on this epidemic!

Break Porn Addiction

Porn Addiction Cure

How To Stop An Addiction To Porn

How To Break A Porn Addiction

Help For Porn Addiction

Help With Porn Addiction

Symptoms Of Porn Addiction

Stop Porn Addiction

How To Stop Porn Addiction

Breaking Porn Addiction

Overcoming Porn Addiction

2008-02-19T18:38:00.000-08:00

Some More Articles On Divorce & Marriage

How Can I Stop My Divorce

Save A Marriage And Stop A Divorce

Save This Marriage Please

Save Marriage Stop Divorce

Divorce support for men

2008-02-13T02:21:00.000-08:00

Check this article i wrote out

Divorce Support for Men - Dealing With Divorce and Separation

Divorce Article

2008-02-12T22:40:00.000-08:00

Check out this divorce article i wrote a while back for ezine articles

How Can I Stop My Divorce? - 3 Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them!

New Article

2008-02-12T21:49:00.000-08:00

Check out this article i wrote about unfaithful girlfriends

5 Tips To Spot An Unfaithful Girlfriend

Bring back the love of your life

2007-12-21T22:40:00.000-08:00

If you believe your ex and yourself still have a future together but have a hard time working out just how to restart that flickering flame of love and passion I have some good news for you.

I found a great e-book guide on how to get your ex back called Bring back the love of your life by Cucan Pemo.

This guide has helped heaps of people regain their love as you can see from the many testimonials on his page.

This is well worth the download if you really want your lover back and to live a lifetime of happiness.

Click here to check it out.

Catch a Cheating Spouse

2007-12-04T01:35:00.000-08:00

No one wants to really find out their partner is cheating on them but living with the suspicion of not knowing is even worse and can destroy your life. The poison of suspicion can erode all parts of your life and if you have children can seriously damage them for life giving them baggage they will carry into relationships of their own.

In the end you must know the truth no matter how terrible it may be because if it is true you need to act on it so that you purge this poison from your life. However on the flipside what if you are wrong and they are acting suspicious because they are planning a surprise party? Or maybe your partner has some trouble with their life they feel they cannot share with you that is making them act very strangely?

"Knowing is half the battle" it has been said but finding out the truth especially when the other is trying to conceal it is hard. If you are not a detective how can you track down the absolute evidence or confirm there is no cheating going on?

There is a way to find out all the information you need to be totally sure and turn you into a professional at getting the information you need to take action.

This is called How to Catch a Cheating Spouse which is written by Sarah Paul who is considered an expert in her field and has been published many times in psychology journals and has so many testimonials of people whose lives she has changed that you have to scroll through them to get to the order button!

So if you need the evidence to be sure and want professional help so you can do it yourself for a fraction of the cost of hiring a private eye and with the assurances you can get a result then you should click here to see and hear what Sarah has to say.

The Divorce and Separation Recovery Program For Men

2007-11-25T23:38:00.000-08:00

I wrote my latest article when i found this great e-book by Phil Symons.

"The Divorce and Separation Recovery Program For Men" is an insightful and enormously helpful guide for men after divorce.

Phil's personal journey and the support group he set up, allowed him to work out a program for angry, confused, and depressed men in a post divorce crisis.

Click here to see what Phil has to say

His program has worked wonders for so many people if you are also suffering it is well worth the download.

The romantic guide to popping the question

2007-11-14T01:49:00.000-08:00

Whiel this is a blog for marital problems and how to fix them i thought this link was very cool and could be seen as a way to prevent marital problems by starting off on the right foot!

The romantics guid to pooping the question is written by Michael Webb who has been featured on Oprah and has held competitions for the best marriage proposal ideas ... this guy has seen it all and knows what he is talking about.

So if you are fishing for marriage proposal ideas this is an amazing guide that will open your eyes on the scope of this sometimes gut wrenching decision.

click here to check it out!

and good luck!

Break Free from the Affair

2007-11-14T01:25:00.000-08:00

I found another really interesting guide to help people whose partner is having an affair.

Written Dr. Robert Huizenga this guide really goes in depth in why affairs happen and how each affair is different and needs to be handled differently.

However while this is in depth it is very easy to read and is really practical.

The agony of the affair can really tear peoples lives apart and this could really help you if you are in this predicament.

Click here to check this out and hopefully help put an end to the heartbreak.

Mastery guide to stopping divorce

2007-11-14T01:18:00.000-08:00

Divorce rates skyrocket, broken homes are made, people are left in financial and emotional turmoil that can last their whole lives and then we can look at how it affects children if they are involved too!

What is even more amazing is that statistics show that the amount of love people feel with their partners does not change after divorce! We have nearly half of all marriages break down but the love is still there so what is wrong?

That is a complicated question and perhaps no one can have the full answer. Changes in how modern families work, changes in gender roles, changes in religious belief and many other factors can all be accounted for but in the end the real question is how do you stop the process which is divorce when the love still exists and can flourish?

One guide dares to say you can change all of this? One guide says you can stop your divorce even if the other person does not even try. I am talking about "The Mastery Guide to Stopping Divorce" written by Dr Katie Zalman who is an expert on marriage and divorce and has been in the marriage counseling business for a great length of time.

This guide does not just offer insight into the situation but also gives practical advice and actions to take that have immediate effects for the better as well as a long term plan to keep your marriage going strong.

So if you want to keep that love, stop your divorce and build a marriage that defies the statistics then click below to find out exactly how.

The Mastery Guide to Stopping Divorce

Stopping my divorce. - Advice for avoiding 3 commons mistakes.

2007-11-14T01:16:00.000-08:00

With divorces at an all time high many couples will go through the pain and turmoil of marriage breakup. That also does not take into account the number of divorces that are stopped before they get too far! This means that even more will suffer the prospect of divorce.

So how can I pull back from the brink you ask? More importantly how do they make the marriage last in love and happiness? While every marriage and divorce are not the same, with different people, values and circumstances there are some core mistakes that people tend to make when trying to win back their partner. There are also ways to stop these mistakes and create positive outcomes instead!

Here are a few common mistakes we have all probably made in a relationship at some point that can really accelerate a divorce and some ideas you can use to change things for the better!

Reassurance - "I have changed! I swear! It will get better!"

Have you ever used this kind of desperate line? Have you had it used on you before? Did you really believe your partner when they say this? I didn't think so, even if you mean it with all your heart things have probably become so bad in your marriage this will sound desperate and insincere. It will also sound weak and will build no confidence in your partner even if it is what you THINK they want to hear. What they say and you what say are not always what is meant or what either person wants to hear. You are heading for divorce here, last minute platitudes like this will not work …

So what will work? What will reassure them? Not much you can say that’s for sure. In that case why say anything? That is right; do not reassure them of your intentions. As much as you want to say something, actions speak louder than words. Be strong and positive in your dealings with your partner and do the things you need to do without paying lip service to your intentions.

Emotional blackmail - "I love you!"

As sincere as you may be with this line it is such an obvious fall back, to them it may seem like emotional blackmail. Especially if they do deeply love you and are just hiding the fact, it can push them further away because they think you are targeting their softest least defended emotional area which can make things worse. The words “I love you” are some of the most powerful in any language. However power applied incorrectly can cause disasters and the same can be said of this line in a fragile relationship.

So can you tell them you love them? While the urge to say “I love you” will often come up it is better NOT to use it while both your emotions are so raw. Save that for when it is mended and both parties can grasp those words and their meaning with a clear head.

Arguing – “Yea but you said …”

Trying to use logic or guilt to change your partners mind is possibly the worst thing you can do. The urge to defend yourself and your actions or to point out hypocrisy or inaction of your partner is counter productive. The more you argue the more they will argue back, if you become negative they will follow suit. If you feel a need to WIN, they will not want to LOSE. The need to win or be right can be poisonous. Trying to force change can be like digging a pit to remove a pothole!

So how can you save your relationship without discussion and arguments? Again like the first point, don’t do it! Don’t get drawn into an argument and defiantly do not start one! Arguments add more discord to a fragile situation. Don’t solve the problem? Sounds like a logical fallacy right? Fix something by not fixing it? It can work! The trick is to agree with your partner no matter what you feel at the time. Do not defend yourself ... do not start a war; the ‘other’ side will be reluctant to attack if you come out with the white flag. This disengages the hostility, and will often lead your spouse to defend you where they were once attacking you! Only once the hostility and defensiveness and urge to WIN is taken away can the root causes of these problems truly come to light. Only then can a solution work itself out .. That’s right work itself out! You don’t have to try to fix it; both parties will soon start to change to solve the problems where before they would be stubborn and unwilling to move. Love will literally save the day, as corny as it sounds ... but you have to be willing to lay your ego aside so that they will do the same and let genuine love back into your relationship.

These are just a few ideas to help you patch up a marriage heading for divorce and the different circumstances of each case may require slightly different tactics but hopefully this can be of some help in your search for marital bliss!

Good luck!

--

If you are serious about saving your marriage and satopping that divorce check this out

Welcome

2007-11-14T01:14:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the Marital problem fixer!

A blog dedicated to helping fix those marital problems that lead to the unfortunatly high rate of divorce.

If i can do my part to help people have a better marriage for themselves and thier children my time is well spent!

More articles and links to come!